Everybody Hates Ted Cruz: Guns Edition

Everybody Hates Ted Cruz: Guns Edition

Most decent Americans loathe Cancun-partying "door control” advocate Ted Cruz. Friday, he gave a speech at an NRA event in Houston, Texas — just a four hour drive from the gun massacre at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde. It was more of the same garbage: He insisted that the only way to stop “a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun,” unless we guess those good guys are cowards with badges.

Cruz, who doesn’t support background checks, speculated about the backgrounds of mass shooters: "We know that many of these who seek to commit the most heinous crimes, they're isolated from human contact ... They're living a virtual life in the absence of community and faith and love."

We’re pretty sure Cruz had no friends growing up and he didn’t shoot up a school. He’s selling himself short. Cruz also smeared anyone who wants to keep guns away from killers as an out-of-touch elitist who lives in a gated community and has private security. Rep. Joaquin Castro called out Cruz’s class bullshit: "After finishing his speech this common man was chauffeured to Uptown Sushi in the wealthiest part of Houston."

Yes, Cruz didn’t go to a steakhouse or barbecue joint. He had sushi like some fancy Hollywood executive. The restaurant isn’t putting on airs, though. It’s located in the Galleria/Uptown area, which is known as Houston’s most "exclusive and premier” shopping district. This asshole couldn’t even get Tex-Mex in the working-class Cloverleaf neighborhood?

While Cruz enjoyed his “unique fusion rolls” and “inspired cocktails in a trendy setting,” he was approached by Benjamin Hernandez from Indivisible Houston. Hernandez posed for a photo with Cruz, who is stupid enough to think anyone actually wants his picture and isn’t just using this as pretense to yell at him.

Newsweek reports:

Hernandez asked him "What about background checks? What about background checks?"

"Is that so hard?" he said as Cruz suggested Hernandez was not interested in listening to him.

The two men engaged in a back and forth as Hernandez became more animated and security personnel approached him. Hernandez repeatedly asked Cruz "Why does this keep happening?" and the security personnel attempted to remove him from the restaurant.

"Why, when 19 children died?" Hernandez said as he was dragged way. "Nineteen children died. That is on your hands. That is on your hands.

Here’s the video:


So, Cruz wants kids, who’ve committed no crime, to attend school in a maximum security prison setting, but he wants to enjoy the freedom of posing for photos with any random person who approaches him and his seemingly bored family. A supposed autograph seeker with a gun murdered John Lennon. This is probably not a safe activity for a US senator, who blames gun violence on the “destruction of the nuclear family, the deterioration of faith and community ... “ literally anything but guns.

Cruz’s security people eventually escorted Hernandez out of the building while Cruz gave a snotty Queen’s wave. This only worked, though, because Hernandez himself wasn’t an armed psychopath. It’s alarming that a random person got this close to the senator.

Cruz blamed open doors for the shooting at Santa Fe High School in 2018, so why was he dining with his family in a restaurant with at least two open doors? Did he check to see if the back door was locked? He also supports the state’s dumbass permitless carry law, which lets Texans carry a concealed handgun without a permit or license. Cruz opposes gun-free zones, even on school grounds, so a public space like a restaurant is incredibly dangerous. Yet, he here is posing for a photo as if mammals actually like him.


I don’t condone violence against human beings or even Ted Cruz. However, he’s actively making the world less safe yet doesn’t want to live in that world. Perhaps he thinks the trappings of wealth can protect him in ways that he refuses to protect schoolchildren, but the gun violence America cultivates and enables will eventually find us all.


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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