Everybody Hates Trump's Total Loser Candidates, Especially Mitch McConnell

Mitch McConnell has a problem. And as Politico Playbook reports this morning, it is all these losers Donald Trump endorses, or who cling to Trump like he's a gun or a Bible, but then lose their general elections after winning their primaries, or run a high risk of doing that. It's an ongoing problem, for Mitch, one that's only getting worse.

Just this week, Trump endorsed Susan Wright in the special runoff election for Texas's Sixth District, pushed to do so by the wingnut Club for Growth. Wright is the widow of the congressman who died of COVID, thereby surrendering his seat in Congress. She lost. Trump is declaring victory, of course.

Trump people are now very worried that the knucklefuck he picked for a special primary race in Ohio next week might lose to one of the other knucklefucks in the running, including one backed by Kentucky GOP Senator Rand Paul, whose PAC is spending beaucoups dollarbucks on the contest. As Politico notes, the Ohio race is a Republican primary, which means only Republicans will be voting, as opposed to the special Texas runoff, which was a general election where even Democrats were allowed to vote. Does the endorsement of the lazy-ass twice-impeached election-losing loser mean nothing these days? We'll see!

But again, Mitch McConnell, he has this problem, and it is that the people Trump endorses are batshit, and also the people who attach themselves like leeches to the cavernous folds of Trump's buttocks are batshit.

This is VERY messing up McConnell's plans for the Senate.

Playbook starts with Herschel Walker, the former football player who lives in Texas and who Trump has declared will be running for Senate in Georgia to beat Raphael Warnock. Unfortunately, according to Playbook, McConnell is not enthused by Walker's history of mental health struggles, or the time he "allegedly [held] a pistol to his then-wife's head and threatening to 'blow [her] f---ing brains out.'" As evidence of McConnell's discomfort with Trump's little paws trying to move the needle in Georgia, Playbook cites this tweet from McConnell's "right-hand man."

From there, Playbook ticks off a list of other states in play in the 2022 midterms for the Senate, where if the Republicans take one seat, they regain control.

There's Eric Greitens, the disgraced former governor of Missouri who wants Roy Blunt's seat. Of course, like a true Trumper, he has all those allegations of tying up a woman and sexually assaulting her and taking pictures without her consent. He is BEGGING for Trump's endorsement and he's really humping Trump's fascist Big Lie about the 2020 election. Junior's loud girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle is working for the guy. Recent reporting suggests Trump is pissed about this whole situation, pissed about Guilfoyle, who he thinks is "annoying" (correct), and thinks Greitens is "problematic," but DC GOP insiders are super-worried what's gonna happen there.

In Pennsylvania, the GOP field to replace Pat Toomey is just full of Trump-humping idiots. For Arizona, DC insider Republicans want current governor Doug Ducey to run, but Donald Trump has declared Ducey an unperson for failing to adequately support the clown fraudit out there to overturn the results of the 2020 election. Therefore, that field is also currently full of third-string Trump-humping idiots.

As Playbook reminds us, McConnell only cares about winning. He literally doesn't care who Trump is endorsing, if he thinks those people are unelectable losers like Trump. And that makes Trump MAD. Trump has been mad at McConnell ALL YEAR. Trump is of course currently mad at McConnell about the Republicans giving President Joe Biden a win this week with his infrastructure plan. (This morning, Trump is even threatening to primary McConnell. He's having BIG tantrum.)

National Republican Senatorial Committee Chair Rick Scott doesn't want to get involved in primaries, which drives McConnell types nuts, but it sounds like McConnell might have to get involved if he wants actual electable people running next year. And as reporting in Politico on this week's Texas race and next week's Ohio race explains, Trump just isn't known for picking actual winners these days. These quotes are fun:

"A loss is a loss, and for someone who touts himself as the ultimate winner, putting your thumb on the scale and then losing tarnishes that brand within the party," said Doug Heye, a former top Republican National Committee official.

And this fun one, about how it's kinda hard to consider somebody your kingmaker when they can't even tweet and tell people which kings they've chosen to make:

Some Republicans contend that Tuesday's loss highlights a trend in Trump's post-presidency: His endorsement doesn't carry as much weight as when he was in office. After being kicked off social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook, Trump has been forced to promote his endorsement largely through email blasts. It is then up to the candidates and their allies to get the word out about his support.

And that? Is not working. So what is a turtle-headed Senate minority leader to do?

We don't have an answer to that question, we just are enjoying how miserable McConnell probably is right now.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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