Everybody's Going To the U.S. Capitol To Get High
There is nothing quite like an early summer morning around our nation's Capitol, where happy families are wandering lost and smiling and snapping pictures and lining up for tours of the grandslave-built palace of democracy. But why are they so happy, when they're wandering lost in the crushing heat and wilting humidity, and where even the promise of an air-conditioned cafeteria is marred by the very real possibility that a passing Republican member of Congress will jump on your little boy and bugger him right there, to stop Obamacare. The answer, as is often the case, is the constant recreational use of marijuana.
Tourists, visitors and staff undergo a strict screening process before entering the House and Senate and their respective office buildings, passing though metal detectors and an X-ray machine on the way. But in the past year and a half, police have stopped at least a dozen people who have entered the building with marijuana and other illegal drugs, including cocaine in one instance ....
The reports do not disclose the names of the people arrested, but a U.S. Capitol Police source familiar with some of the cases told The Hill that the majority of the alleged drug carriers were tourists.
Haha, the coke was in a lobbyist's briefcase with an intended destination of a Chief of Staff's nasal membranes.
But for the rest of you, the happy stoner families stumbling around the Capitol Visitors Center, please smoke your dope outside because otherwise the Capitol Police will arrest your ass and steal your chronic, the end. [The Hill via Wonkette operative "Matt N."]