Everything You Need To Know Before Buying Eggs Again! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 5, 2020

The Iowa thinkpieces are upon us!
Zynep Tufekci, Atlantic: Who Needs the Russians?
Max Read, New York mag: The Real Problems With the Iowa Caucuses' 'Shadow' App
Ian Millhiser, Vox: Monday's Iowa Caucuses Should Be the Last
Tom Scocca, Slate: The Mess in Iowa Is Not a Conspiracy
Jessica Huseman et al., ProPublica: Iowa's Lesson: Political Parties Are Not as Good as Government Officials at Counting Votes
Philip Bump, Washington Post: Iowa Democrats are poised to do the one thing that could make the caucus debacle worse
And not a thinker, actual app news from the New York Times, and this has GOT to be my favorite part:
The state party said at the time that nearly all of the calls were related to user-error problems, such as precincts in areas with bad cellphone service that were having difficulty downloading or logging into the app, or others simply asking about the app's functionality.
LOL haha dumb user err-ers live in the country and ain't got good cell service! What a user error!
Trump didn't know who fucking Mike Flynn Pizzagate Junior was, even though he was promoting Pizzagate and Trump's transition team was trying to get him a security clearance (it was big news!) in an interview with Chris Wallace. Fox edited it out. (WaPo)
Trump excluded CNN from his "anchors lunch," and all the other network and cable anchors went anyway. What the fuck is wrong with all of you?
Donald Trump has "joked" at least 27 times about not leaving office after his term. -- Slate
Giuliani wants to investigate Joe Biden. YA THINK?
Oh good, just what we were missing. Trump's New Commission Looks Like a Platform for Pro-Police Propaganda
:/
A 7-year old girl just asked @ewarren if she will "close the camps." Warren: "The camps where children are held?"… https://t.co/jcoSJfyVIZ— Annie Linskey (@Annie Linskey) 1580837054.0
RELATED: Why won't society let black girls be children? (NYT)
OLD TAB from 2018, repeat OLD TAB: Rebecca Traister on Elizabeth Warren, gonna knock you out. (NY Mag)
Probably don't read this about the abusive pet-murdering veterinarian in Oregon (NYT)
Definitely don't read about the cop who froze his son to death on purpose and mocked him while he was dying (the prosecutors know because cop and cop wife had cameras in every room to capture them abusing their children), in fact you know what it's not even a tab.
Emergency Nice time! Minnesota will pay you to put bee-friendly plants in your lawn!
Let's look at hotels.
Let's yell at people in Hummers.
Let's look at unlikely animal friends.
OK. Somewhat better.
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