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The United States' big dreams of hosting the 2022 World Cup were shattered by one of the planet's smallest nations.

In a historic vote Thursday in Zurich, FIFA awarded the hosting rights to Qatar, a Middle Eastern country smaller than Connecticut that wowed the sport's international governing body with innovative stadium plans, massive financial resources and the promise of promoting harmony in a region that has never staged the World Cup.


And if that wasn't bad enough, they also gave a World Cup to Russia, which also hangs out with Iran all the time. FIFA is a corrupt organization who hates America because it is a beacon of hope to soccer and is the game's natural home. This country loves soccer. Almost 5% of Americans know who Landon Donovan is.

GOOD LUCK PLAYING IN SOCCER STADIUMS THAT ARE LITERALLY MADE OUT OF THE BODIES OF LIVING TERRORISTS. [WP]

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It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

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2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

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