Ex-Burglars Spill Their Tricks To Help People Avoid Getting Robbed! Tabs, Thurs., July 8, 2021

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Do you need a primer on how gerrymandering and the Supreme Court fuck voters? Because Hillary Clinton is wearing her schoolmarm shoes. (Democracy Docket)

Oh fuck, QAnon is running for schoolboard. (NBC News)

Pennsylvania idiot wants to import Arizona's singularly successful fraudit. — Politico

Speaking of! This poor farmer-senator, a devout Christian and Republican, who audited Michigan's 2020 election and is so fucking sad that all his neighbors are believing these fucking grifters and Trump, who's calling him out by name as COVER UP. If you have any more pageviews remaining at The Atlantic, this is excellent.

Fox is ignoring its star Tucker Carlson's BOMBSHELL ACCUSATION that the NSA is spying on him, because of how he's a huge liar. To wit!

If you're like me, you've endured the frustration of having a package delayed. If you're like Carlson, you've vented that frustration on your nationally televised cable news show by suggesting that nefarious forces at UPS may have seized your delivery as part of a plot to elect Joe Biden president. Just days before the 2020 election, Carlson claimed on-air that a cache of documents about Biden's family that his staff had sent across the country to him had mysteriously vanished. When UPS subsequently tracked down the thumb drive in question, which had been separated from its packaging in a facility, Carlson's response was to tell his audience, "Someone, for some reason, opened our package and removed a flash drive containing documents that were damaging to the Biden family." Strangely, Carlson never reported on the supposedly election-shifting documents in question.

Media Matters

TechDirt is beside itself reading Trump's newest LOLsuit. (TechDirt)

Amanda Marcotte moves from that terrible National Review essay demanding liberal women bang with Trumpist men to ... Dan Patrick getting a talk canceled because it was about how the white rage at Mexico banning slavery led to the Alamo, and then Liz Cheney, Ashli Babbitt, Mike Pompeo, and Martin Luther King. I'm not entirely sure the throughline works on this one, unless the throughline is "some of the many astounding bullshits they perpetrated this week." — Salon

Oh hello, new tab: Dan Patrick got a talk canceled because it was about how the white rage at Mexico banning slavery led to the Alamo. (Salon)

Even Richard Neal, the "Democrat" House Ways and Means Committee chairman who keeps fucking legislation to avert "surprise billing," thinks we need to crack down on abuse of retirement tax shelters for the ultra-rich, and has a bill to address Peter Thiel's $5 billion ROTH Ira. He just also happens to have this other bill that will make it impossible for the IRS to do anything about it! Ho ho ho, isn't life rich. (ProPublica)

Volunteers put a Mozilla extension on their browser to track YouTube videos they "regretted" being served by the tech monolith's algorithm, and you will absolutely believe what happened next! (YouTube served them shitty, dangerous videos.) — TechCrunch

Hertz Rental Cars: Now with FREE USED JIMMY HATS*

*Free used jimmy hats included with standard $75 cleaning fee. (LA Times)

Put down the Hot Cheeto's, Frito Lay ON STRIKE. — KSNT

Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee sent unemployment insurance back to the feds, but has a pot of money to pay tourists to come to Nashville. People who are not Bill Lee are perplexed! (Fox17)

Meanwhile, California Gov. Gavin Newsom has a $5 billion fund to help you pay your rent and bills. Who does he think he is, Wonkette??? — How to apply, at Sacramento Bee

Who's got $10 million for me to buy the '50s dream house with TRAINS. Thank you for your attention in this matter! (Zillow)

Cherry strudel! Frozen cherry margaritas! Cherry gin! CHERRY ALL THE THINGS! — The Guardian

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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