Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez officially becomes a congressperson today, so we can expect the deranged obsession the right has with her to only intensify. Over the weekend, there was some controversy when Ocasio-Cortez proposed some radical position on policy that ... no, I'm just kidding. She just alluded to a Jennifer Lopez song. That's what had the Gateway Pundit flipping out.

This past weekend Ocasio-Cortez tweeted out a photo of her congressional office on Capitol Hill. She made the mistake of adding that she's just your average girl from the Bronx.

But Gateway Pundit had incontrovertible proof: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, in high school, went by the name Sandy.

While they're at it, maybe they'll reveal she's not that young either. She turns 30 this year and that's the average age of the hot mother of teenagers on a CW drama.

The Gateway Pundit boasted an "exclusive" from a high school classmate of Ocasio-Cortez's. The anonymous source shared photos of the future congressperson during her time at Yorktown High School in Westchester County. "Deep Throat" also described the glamorous life of the residents.

The education we received at Yorktown was excellent, we had many well funded after school programs, very good cafeteria food, access to Putnam northern Westcheser BOCES for trade school. Lacrosse was our biggest sport. We were terrible at football, decent at soccer.

The average home in Yorktown goes for $477,000 — it's a very nice area.

There was very large theater, dance and band department. You were considered poor if your parents made $50,000 a year each.


WHO THE HELL IS "SANDY"? (Sorry, my caps lock key got stuck.)

Apparently, "Sandy" was the name Ocasio-Cortez went by at her "affluent" high school. It's fitting that while attempting to "birther" Ocasio-Cortez, they'd also pull the old "Barry Obama" trick. I don't know what to tell these people. Nicknames are a thing. (On Twitter last night, there were a non-zero number of people aghast that anyone would try to claim "Sandy" is a nickname for "Alexandria." We don't know what to tell them, or you about the fact that they exist.)

Gateway Pundit keeps referring to Yorktown as "affluent," which is interesting because these same people any other day of the week would be considered "average Americans" opposed to Ocasio-Cortez's "cash-and-carry" socialism.

The classmate told The Gateway pundit he/she does not like "Sandy's" politics and DOES NOT WANT TO LIVE UNDER COMMUNIST – SOCIALIST rule.


It's not unusual for people of color to move to predominately white spaces for the perceived better schools or safer neighborhoods. The resident Heathers don't often rush to embrace these new arrivals. It also doesn't erase who we were. Seeing the photos of "Sandy" -- a brown girl amongst a sea of mostly white faces -- brings back familiar memories for a lot of us.

There's nothing mysterious about Ocasio-Cortez's background. She's been quite frank about her upbringing. She was born in the Bronx. She moved to Yorktown when she was 5, but she regularly visited her family in the boogie-down. Anyone capable of empathy might understand why she felt more at home in the Bronx and still identifies with the area, the culture, the people. For God's sake, it's not a scam. Being born somewhere really does make you from there! Just ask our Kenyan forever president!

It's also telling that so far no one Ocasio-Cortez knew from the Bronx is reaching out to right-wing hack blogs to express their fear that she's going to turn America into a communist superstate. As Holly Golightly said, "home is where you feel at home." It's more than an "affluent" zip code.

Conservatives talk a lot about "bootstraps" and how "anyone" can pursue the American dream. Yet, they insist that Ocasio-Cortez is a fraud, a cosplay working girl. They attack her "expensive" clothing. They mock her struggles to pay DC rent. It's like she's socialist Goldilocks. I get their political motivation for wanting to downplay her compelling story. But deep down, I wonder if they simply can't accept that a true "Alex from the Bronx" could achieve what she has -- not in their America.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins runs from March through May at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo.

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Remember a few weeks ago when House Judiciary Committee Chair Jerry Nadler sent a very nice and loving request to 81 people and entities associated with Donald Trump, including the White House, asking to please FUCKING GIVE IT a million documents, in order to aid Judiciary's investigation into Trump's millions of crimes? Well, the deadline was Monday, and some folks are helping! Others are not!

According to Nadler, they've already gotten "tens of thousands" of documents, and all signs point to more document requests coming, to approximately one million more people. There have been some surprises, too. Steve Bannon is helping a LOT, turning over thousands of pages (which is perhaps too much if you've ever seen that episode of "The West Wing," where CJ Cregg talks about being so crazy over-compliant with Congress that they just snow down investigators with everything, including take-out menus and junk mail). Trump Inauguration weirdo/longtime associate Tom Barrack is helping, and Hope Hicks is also too gonna be a good little helper. And so on!

And some are asking for "friendly subpoenas," like for instance attorney Keith Davidson, who used to rep Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, who's asking for that in order to "formalize the process," as Politico puts it. (Some people don't like being asked nicely.)

Still others are saying straight up NO, and some of them have better reasons than others. Roger Stone is pleading the Fifth on advice of counsel because, you know, he's in trouble with the law right now. Rick Gates says he can't really help, citing how he is still a cooperating witness who is very business hunting wabbits in multiple ongoing investigations. And Julian Assange said no, because (LOL) he is a journalist, you guys, and Congress shouldn't subpoena journalists about their sources. (Actually WikiLeaks is a cut-out for Russian intelligence. Which is kind of like "journalist," except not remotely.)

But the real story here is that the White House, in response to pretty much every document request it's gotten, is saying "FUCK OFF! WE ARE GOING TO DO THE WATERGATE THING! IT WORKED OUT VERY WELL, IN WATERGATE! FUCK IT, LET'S DO THE WATERGATE THING!"

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