Excuse Me, But Some Tennessee Republican Regularly Chugs Straight Chocolate Syrup And I Have Questions

Recipe Hub
Excuse Me, But Some Tennessee Republican Regularly Chugs Straight Chocolate Syrup And I Have Questions

You know, you spend as much time on the internet and watching trashy TLC shows as I do, and you think you've seen everyone eat everything possible. I've seen rats eating pizza, high schoolers eating spoonfuls of cinnamon, a woman who was addicted to eating couch cushions and another woman who ate the ashes of her dead husband. Also I dated a pretentious film guy in college who made me watch Salo. I am not new! And generally, I don't judge people for what they eat (unless they try to serve me a Caprese sandwich with a giant pile of freaking arugula on it, in which case I will be mad for weeks). Never yuck someone else's yum, I say!


I came across a tweet featuring Tennessee state Rep. Kent Calfee listening to the State of the State address, while casually sipping on a bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup — as he, reportedly, "often does" during legislative sessions.

Excuse me?

Several people have suggested that the bottle is perhaps filled with booze, which would be significantly less unsettling than straight chocolate syrup. Drunks I get! But chocolate syrup? Straight chocolate syrup from the bottle? So casually? Where does one pick up such a habit, and how is he not embarrassed?

And not only is this guy chugging straight chocolate syrup, he is — as you can see if you click on the picture in the tweet — also eating cheese crackers. Chocolate syrup and cheese crackers. What a combination! What that would do to one's mouth, I could not even begin to imagine.

But not for long!

You see, I am writing this Monday night while watching the Iowa caucuses, which means I am about two glasses into bottle of cat wine myself. Not wine made from cats, mind you, which is not a thing — and not wine for cats, which isbut wine in a cat shaped bottle. Everything is delayed and no one knows what is happening! It's actually pretty boring right now and honestly I need a distraction.

I'm just going to assume that Rep. Calfee's system is to eat a cracker and then take a big swig of the chocolate syrup to wash it down. So that's what I'm going to do. Right now.


YEP. That is absolutely disgusting.

In fact, I think drinking the chocolate syrup after eating cheese crackers is probably more gross than drinking straight chocolate syrup by itself. Though I don't think that would be very good either. And I like chocolate! But I assure you, this is not good and you should not try it at home.



Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc