F*ck You, Mitch McConnell

Mere minutes after voting to acquit Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell took the Senate floor to make a strong case for ... why we should convict Donald Trump.

Except for some steaming mastodon dung at the end, it was a pretty good speech. (Here's the transcript.)

And you know what? He can take his meaningless platitudes and shove them ... wherever it would cause him the most pain and discomfort.

For four years, Mitch and Trump worked hand-in-hand to do as much as they possibly could to destroy our country

Some might say Mitch's speech was an act of cowardice, but not me. I, for one, think it was incredibly brave for the man who is the actual reason the trial didn't take place sooner to then stand up and say he couldn't vote to convict solely because the trial didn't take place sooner.

"There is no question that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of that day," said the man who had just voted to acquit, thus leaving open the possibility of Trump running again in 2024 and doing the exact same thing again.

The speech began, "January 6 was a disgrace." And it was.

So was yesterday's vote.

Mitch McConnell full well knows that what happened on and before January 6 was an attack on our entire constitutional system. He knows Donald Trump sent an angry mob to the Capitol building to murder him and overthrow the government. And yet, he still couldn't bring himself to vote for conviction.

In so doing, Mitch basically just admitted that he believes there is a January exception for presidents committing high crimes and misdemeanors, as long as we're talking about a Republican. (No, no I do not take their phony "beliefs" seriously. And neither should you. Three words: Amy. Coney. Barrett.)
At the end of the angry take-down of the former president, Mitch then tucked his tail between his legs, repeated the bullshit party line, and slunk off the floor.
No serious person actually believes it is unconstitutional to hold an impeachment trial after a person has left office, especially if that person is impeached while they are still in office. Former presidents are entitled to a number of benefits, including a six-figure annual pension, lifetime Secret Service protection, and up to $1 million in travel expenses annually — and the only way to take that away is through the impeachment process.
And we all know Mitch and his brethren have absolutely no problem completely reversing course, regardless of what they said in the past, the second the shoe is on the other foot. If not, we would be talking about who Joe Biden is going to appoint to fill RBG's seat.

As for past impeachment trials that happened after people left office? Well, we don't know. He just kind of ignored that.

Nancy Pelosi, who had not planned on joining the House managers' press conference after the vote, felt compelled to join the group after seeing Mitch's speech. She blasted the former majority leader for his bullshit, saying, "It is so pathetic that Senator McConnell kept the Senate shut down so that the Senate could not receive the Article of Impeachment and has used that as his excuse for not voting to convict Donald Trump."

We agree.

And look, there was plenty to agree with in Mitch's speech. He also suggested that Trump could still face criminal charges and civil actions. "President Trump is still liable for everything he did while he was in office as an ordinary citizen," McConnell said. "He didn't get away with anything. Yet."

And YES, PLEASE! Before there can be any unity, there needs to be accountability. We are waiting with bated breath for Tish James, Cy Vance, or some other prosecutor to bring charges against the most corrupt president in American history.

But that doesn't change the fact that Mitch McConnell is a slimy, smelly invertebrate. Actually, sorry. That's mean to invertebrates.

Mitch McConnell has spent his entire career trying to further entrench power for the Republican Party and himself, with no regard for how he was destroying our country's institutions. He has spearheaded or been complicit in everything that got us to this point.

So forgive me if I don't care to sit here and be lectured by one of the biggest villains in American history.

I believe that Mitch actually is pissed off at what Donald Trump did. But I don't fucking care. Put your money where your mouth is or STFU.

I would say that I hope that at least he feels guilty about his not guilty vote, but that would require Mitch McConnell to have the ability to feel things.

Thanks for the speech, Mitch.

Go to hell.


[ Transcript / Video ]

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Jamie Lynn Crofts
Jamie Lynn Crofts is sick of your bullshit. When she’s not wrangling cats, she’s probably writing about nerdy legal stuff, rocking out at karaoke, or tweeting about god knows what. Jamie would kindly like to remind everyone that it’s perfectly legal to tell Bob Murray to eat shit.

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