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Morning Wonketariat! Before we get started, we need to thank Lisa, a St. Louis wonker who's helped out @KillerMartinis and me by letting us stay in her lovely home/gallery/art space while we cover the continuing protests in St. Louis. Now here's some of the things we may be talking about today!


Since zombie TrumpCare won't die, here's a breakdown of how bad states will get fucked under Cassidy-Graham/TrumpCare.

Republicans are stepping on the gas for tax reform in a last ditch effort to send a $1.5 trillion tax cut for the wealthy to crash land on the backs of the icky poors.

In a new op-ed, Wilbur Ross mansplains NAFTA. You can read it, or you can join us in saying, "Oh, go fuck yourself, Wilbur Ross!"

Trump's people gathered in a smoke filled room to bitch about re-reshaping US climate policy in their neverending effort to try and wipe away B. Barry Bamz's mark on the planet.

There's word coming from the Hill that HUD's Community Block Grant Program will be gutted so that the poors will have a much harder time getting their hurricane relief AND Meals on Wheels. Suck it, poors!

According to Jeff Sessions, there are "wolves in sheep's clothing" crossing the border and posing as innocent DACA recipients -- just waiting to huff, and puff, and blow your glass houses down.

Betsy DeVos admits that she too scoots around 'Murica on her own private jet, but she also pays for it. Come on, can we please be a little more discriminating with the point?

Head hunters in Washington and beyond are seeing a deluge of resumes from staffers who are looking to bail out of the Trump train.

A new study has found that all the shitty lead-tainted water in Flint, Michigan, has caused a huge rise in fetal deaths.

Goons belonging to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan got in ANOTHER fight after protesters stormed a speech he was giving in New York. Good thing Trump just complimented him on their close, deep personal friendship.

As Trump moves to ratchet up more sanctions, Kim Jong-un responded, calling trump a "mentally deranged U.S. dotard." LOL, the threat of nuclear holocaust is hilarious!

If you hated Obama's Not American drone policy, you're going to love Trump's now that the US is actively considering MOAR drone strikes and GI-Joe commando raids.

As Germany braces for its election Sunday, it's holding fast for an onslaught of Russian propaganda fake news.

Mark Zuckerberg is super sorry that he took all those Ameros to spy on you and let Russia mind-fuck your drunk uncle into voting for Donald Trump.

LOLOL Sally Yates might be Tiffany Trump's law professor at the DC school for smart kids and douche nozzles who want to be lawyers.

Fox News ALLEGEDLY has a standard of journalistic ethics and (SHOCKINGLY) even Fox's evil corporate overlords don't see Fox and Friends as a legit news source.

The Daily Stormer is having a hell of a time keeping its basement dwelling neckbeards up to date with all their Nazi crap, and its founder is currently hiding amongst all the other white people in Iceland (for now).

And here's your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert figured out Paul Manafort's secret spy words; Jimmy Kimmel is trying to bury zombie TrumpCare; Seth Meyers took another Closer Look at Zombie TrumpCare; The Daily Show took a gander at Hurricane Mueller

And here's your morning Nice Time! Baby Rhinos!

It's readers like you who keep us alive and kicking many asses, do your part today!

Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking photos.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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