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Failed SNL Comedienne Victoria Jackson Continues Being Not Racist Or Crazy At All

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Victoria Jackson, best known for her invention "The Love Toilet," continues to wow audiences with her hilarious comedy stylings 20 years after last appearing anywhere in the media entertainment complex. How is she achieving this? With a Colbertian, or maybe Kaufmanian, embodiment of a hilarious character she calls "racist wackjob who is in no way actually Victoria Jackson." And she has more for us this fine fine newsday!


We first noted Jackson's sly Twitter feed this morning in the context of @jfruh's brillz post on whatever it is Texas idiots are threatening to do now. But @jfruh, unaccountably, declined to add Victoria Jackson to his list of performance artists.

But what clever jokes had come just hours before Victoria Jackson's expose of the secessionist mindset? Oh, just this little bit o' honey:

We don't even know where to begin in explaining that black and Latino families having higher rates of assistance than white families does not mean whites, "statistically," are all rugged pioneer individuals taking care of their own, since even at levels that are lower than among black or Latino families, there are still plenty of white people "statistically" on welfare. (Although a good place to start might be Under the Banner of Heaven. That is a fuckton of white people having one hundred children each and living large off Victoria Jackson, patriot!)

But obviously we do not need to explain that to Victoria Jackson at all, because clearly it was just a joke. What else could it be?

[Twitter]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Photo by Daniel Stockman, Creative Commons license 2.0

It's Sunday, and that means it's time for a break from the ongoing grind of awfulness out there. Let's dive into some cool, funny, thoughtful stuff to fortify ourselves before we get back to the daily madness, shall we?

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After watching President Arty McDeals twist in the wind for a month, IRL politician Mitch McConnell finally decided to throw the mook a lifeline. Despite constant screaming about women with duct tape over their mouths, Trump is getting blamed for the shutdown and even his own supporters are starting to turn on him. So Ol' Yertle summoned Mike Pence and Jared Kushner to his chambers for some #RealTalk.

"Tell Donald that he has to offer something so it looks like the Democrats are the ones who won't compromise." He said. (Probably.)

"That's great," squeaked young Jared (allegedly), "Democrats are desperate. We've got them right where we want them." McConnell blinked hard.

"No, Jared," he probably said. "They're not going to take the deal. We'd have more luck getting Mexico to pay for it. The point is to offer something silly so they turn us down, and then we try to convince the public that the shutdown is Democrats' fault."

"I don't get it," said Jared (allegedly), as Mother's boy Pence furrowed his brow and sighed through his nose. (Not allegedly, it's his signature move.)

"I know," Mitch might have said. "Believe me, I know."

Which is how President Teleprompter wound up giving a MAJOR ADDRESS yesterday offering to hold off on deporting some of the Dream Act kids for a hot second if Democrats will just give him $5.7 billion for WALL and let him expel future child arrivals without a hearing. Trump himself rescinded protections for up to a million immigrants brought here as kids as soon as he took office, but he'll let some of those hostages go if Democrats will just give him cash for that WALL that Mexico is "indirectly" paying for. Heck, he'll even let 300,000 people who fled war and natural disasters and put down roots here over decades to stay a little longer, if that's what it takes. He plans to deport them all in three years anyway, or else use them for another round of hostage negotiations. (If we re-elect That Orange Idiot, spit on the ground/sign of the horns/God forbid.)

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