Fake GOP Electors Meet To Cast Fake Votes For President Real Loser
Far be it from Your Wonkette to kinkshame, but these Republicans get off on some bizarro shit.
Our brave electors standing up for what is right and casting their electoral votes for @realDonaldTrump. We believ… https://t.co/wbHmQ06Odk— Nevada GOP (@Nevada GOP) 1607981420.0
Couldn't these weirdos just dress up like Little Bo Peep and spank each other with ping pong paddles, or something?
That's the Nevada GOP pretending to be electors casting their votes for Donald Trump, which necessarily involves pretending that their guy won re-election. But they're committed to the bit, so ...
And those Silver State freaks weren't the only ones cosplaying yesterday. Here's the Michigan GOP getting turned away from the Capitol building, which was closed due to credible threats of violence to the real, Democratic electors who were inside doing the state's real, democratic business.
“The Electors are already here, they’ve been checked in.” Michigan State Police are blocking access to the Capitol,… https://t.co/ctLC4mollL— Brendan Gutenschwager (@Brendan Gutenschwager) 1607974930.0
Note that the LARP-ers appear to be outnumbered by reporters assembled to document this weak shit.
Here's the head of the Georgia GOP feeding his supporters lies about the effect of his symbolic "vote."
Had we not meet today and cast our votes, the President’s pending election contest would have been effectively moot… https://t.co/WKITxwj6pv— David Shafer (@David Shafer) 1607969225.0
It's a lie also repeated by the Wisconsin state party, which met for cosplay yesterday "to preserve our role in the electoral process while the final outcome is still pending in the courts, and also the Pennsylvania GOP, which screamed out this press release.
BREAKING: REPUBLICAN ELECTORS CAST PROCEDURAL VOTE , SEEK TO PRESERVE TRUMP CAMPAIGN LEGAL CHALLENGE https://t.co/XVWuR5WzvN— PA GOP (@PA GOP) 1607970326.0
In reality, there is nothing to "preserve," procedurally or otherwise. Trump and his allies filed dozens of suits across all these states, and the courts told him to GTFO because he had no evidence of fraud. The Electoral College met yesterday, and they cast their votes. If Rep. Mo Brooks wants to continue this charade, and if one Republican senator wants to play along with him, they might succeed in delaying the certification on January 6 by a couple of hours. But that's it. Not sure where this internet rumor about Mike Pence breaking the tie came from — paint huffers, probably.
Over in Arizona, the Gippers aren't going to let a little thing like objective reality interfere with their dress-up party, though. In fact, they took it to a whole new level. Not only did the state party meet to cast a pretend vote, but a bunch of even loonier lunatics who describe themselves as "sovereign citizens of the Great State of Arizona" dummied up a fake "certificate of ascertainment," notarized the thing, and sent it to the National Archives.
"We seated before the legislators here. We already turned it in. We beat them to the game," Lori Osiecki of the group AZ Protect the Vote told AZ Central, before returning to an animated discussion with the little man who lives in her fillings and tells her not to trust the fake news media. Allegedly!
Apparently, this group thought Arizona's Republican Gov. Doug Ducey wasn't breaking enough laws to help Trump steal the state's 11 electoral votes for Trump, so they took matters into their own hands. Presumably this did not extend to forging Gov. Ducey's signature on their bogus certificate, since they're not currently under arrest. Which means that they and the rest of those sore loser loons are free to walk among us.
So be careful out there! But don't worry about these jackasses successfully stealing this election. It's all over but the whining.
Follow Liz Dye on Twitter RIGHT HERE!
Please click here to support your Wonkette. And if you're ordering your quarantine goods on Amazon, this is the link to do it.
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.