Famous Harvard Intellectual Arrested In Connection With Attempting To Enter His House


The very serene and affable Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. was arrested Thursday after a lady called the cops in the middle of the day, reporting that she saw a man apparently trying to break into a nearby house.

Put yourself in the shoes of this lady caller: you see a small, middle-aged, polo shirted and bespectacled black man who walks with a cane, and he just saunters up to the door of a nice Cambridge house like he owns the place and attempts to force the door open. Obviously this is cause for alarm!

Sure, he's not carrying a crowbar or wearing a facemask or doing any of those other "robber things," but he's pretty clearly up to no good, as evidenced by his "wedging his shoulder into the front door as to pry the door open." (Legitimate Cantabridgian homeowners have "magic keys," you see, that prevent their 200-year-old wooden doors from ever sticking in their frames in humid summer weather.)

By the time a police sergeant arrived to investigate, another police officer was already talking with Professor Gates. And that's when things got CRAZY.

According to the police report, the professor got all shouty and outraged at being asked to present ID. Eventually they arrested him for being so shouty, in the middle of the day, in his house that he lives in. And now everybody's up in arms about racism, even though that ended because Barack Obama is the president.

Renowned Af-Am Professor Gates Arrested for Disorderly Conduct [Harvard Crimson]

Police Report (PDF)

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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