If Team Trump Is Sh*tting Itself This Much Over THESE Georgia Grand Jury Excerpts, Imagine What's Under Seal

Some people should maybe go to jail for perjury and there was no major fraud in Georgia in the 2020 election. That's what the partial grand jury report just released by Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis's office says. It doesn't say who should be indicted for perjury, just that some fuckers probably lyin' to grand juries, and lock them up.

No word on whether the grand jury thinks Donald Trump, his lawyers, or his minions should be indicted for all his efforts to overturn the election in Georgia, the pressure Trump put on elections officials to "find him" 11,780 votes, the pressure his minions put on officials, and so forth.

That's still under seal.

Trump Did A Perfect Call Again

Steven Cheung, a spox from the Trump campaign, gave a statement to NBC News that said Trump did nothing wrong but merely "participated in two perfect phone calls regarding election integrity in Georgia." As anybody who knows anything about Donald Trump is well aware, if he's been having "perfect calls" there is likely some fuckin' anti-American treason-type shit happening. Especially if he's telling you to "READ THE TRANSCRIPT!"


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You can read the grand jury excerpts here.

Some of its more specific findings are that:

  • It was a unanimous vote by the grand jury that there was "no widespread fraud" in the 2020 election in Georgia that could have changed the result. They heard lots of testimony on it, including from people who say there was fraud. Their conclusion is fuck off. Joe Biden kicked Trump's ass fair and square and without even a soupçonof malarkey. Yes that's right, the Georgia grand jury said soupçon.
  • Or did they?
  • A majority of the grand jury believes that "perjury may have been committed by one or more witnesses" and indictments should be sought "where the evidence is compelling." So we'll keep our eyes out for that!

That's it, it's really goddamn short.

But holy fuck, by the hysterical over-the-top reaction from another Trump spox, Liz Harrington, you would think her terrorist-attack-inciting seditionist boss had just been indicted for real crimes. Just MELTDOWN.

Tweeting out links to some kind of delusional propaganda movie about fake Georgia frauds.

Tweeting out DSM-V-grade batshit threads about other fake imaginary frauds.

Tweeting out the full hilarious statement from Trump, which weirdly forgets to mention that the real shit about whether to indict him or Rudy Giuliani or any of the rest of the insurgent cell is still under seal. Wonder why they forgot that.

Seriously, it's so bugfuck:

The long awaited important sections of the Georgia report, which do not even mention President Trump’s name, have nothing to do with the President because President Trump did absolutely nothing wrong. The President participated in two perfect phone calls regarding election integrity in Georgia, which he is entitled to do - in fact, as President, it was President Trump’s Constitutional duty to ensure election safety, security, and integrity. Between the two calls, there were many officials and attorneys on the line, including the Secretary of State of Georgia, and no one objected, even slightly protested, or hung up. President Trump will always keep fighting for true and honest elections in America!

Yay, perfect calls, everybody drink!

And then put Trump in the shittiest prison in Georgia until he dies alone of old age.

UPDATE: That dumb motherfucker is now claiming "TOTAL EXONERATION!" We've seen this before, but never this prematurely.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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