Farewell, Lying Lie-Face Kellyanne Conway, You Won’t Be Missed

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Donald Trump's professional liar, Kellyanne Conway, is leaving the White House at the end of the month. This is hardly a good deed in a weary world. It's more akin to rats fleeing sinking ships. However, Conway is spinning her departure as noble. She's leaving to focus on her family.

Conway's official statement was a bunch of lies about Trump's dumpster fire presidency before she got around to the point.

I will be transitioning from the White House at the end of this month. George is also making changes. We disagree about plenty but we are united on what matters most: the kids. Our four children are teens and 'tweens starting a new academic year, in middle school and high school, remotely from home for at least a few months. As millions of parents nationwide know, kids "doing school from home" requires a level of attention and vigilance that is as unusual as these times.

This is completely my choice and my voice. In time, I will announce future plans. For now, and for my beloved children, it will be less drama, more mama.

God, she's terrible.

Conway's husband, George, is a co-founder of the conservative anti-Trump group, the Lincoln Project. He's a fierce critic of the president, and Trump, whose leadership Kellyanne praises, has mocked her husband on Twitter. (Trump so far has made no public statement about Kellyanne Conway's departure.)


George Conway voted for President Klan Robe in 2016 and almost took a job in his administration. He hoped Trump "would calm down and get better as time went on," which is incredibly naive, but, hey, judges, tax cuts, ACA repeal! Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking! George at least accepted that Trump was a soulless monster and has become fiercely dedicated to removing him from office. That's the core source of disagreement for the Conways, as far as we can tell: One supports democracy. The other is out for all she can grift.

Their teenage daughter Claudia is in obvious distress. She's 15, a minor, and doesn't deserve what so-called “Christian conservatives" on social media are saying about her. I don't want to pull a child into this shitshow, but I will say this: Claudia Conway is brave and honest. She's used Trump's favorite platform, TikTok, to criticize the president's policies, which are evil, and her mother's active collaboration with a wannabe despot appalled her.

Claudia announced this weekend that she's seeking emancipation from her parents "because of years of childhood trauma and abuse." This coincides with Kellyanne's resignation and George's announcement that he's stepping away from the Lincoln Project and his Twitter advocacy.

Conservatives claim we shouldn't use this as an excuse to dunk on Kellyanne, but it seems to me at least that Kellyanne is the one exploiting the situation. That's not a surprise. It's what she does.

Kellyanne Conway repeatedly violated the Hatch Act. She helped Trump slander Andy McCabe at the FBI. She grossly implied that Trump's impeachment was not part of Martin Luther King's “vision." She tried to pin a mass shooting on Barack Obama, who was no longer president. She verbally abused a reporter during a phone rant where she described herself as a “powerful woman." She once tried to name prominent Black staffers at the White House and could only come up with Ja'Ron Smith (the poor bastard's a “featured speaker" this week at the RNC). She suggested deep state Democrats were using “feeble" Robert Mueller to hurt the president. She rested her feet on an Oval Office couch during a meeting with representatives from the nation's historically black colleges.

She also introduced the term “alternative facts" to the world. She'll have to compete with her former boss for that fifth slot on Mount Rushmore.

Wonkette officially declared Kellyanne Conway a “craven asshole" when she trashed her husband to the Washington Post and tried to cosplay as her own "background source." Allow us to remind you of that conversation between Conway and the journalist interviewing her:

Me: You told me you found [George's tweets] disrespectful.

Kellyanne: It is disrespectful, it's a violation of basic decency, certainly, if not marital vows . . . as "a person familiar with their relationship."

Me: No, we're on the record here. You can't say after the fact "as someone familiar."

Kellyanne: I told you everything about his tweets was off the record.

Me: No, that's not true. That never happened.

Kellyanne: Well, people do see it this way. People do see it that way, I don't say I do, but people see it that way.

Me: But I'm saying we never discussed everything about his tweets being off the record. There are certain things you said that I put off the record.

Kellyanne: Fine. I've never actually said what I think about it and I won't say what I think about it, which tells you what I think about it.

We wish Claudia Conway and her siblings the best.

Kellyanne Conway should never work in public life again though. We know she will, of course. She's like the creatures that survive a nuclear fallout. There will always be new lies to spread.

Kellyanne Conway: Pundit Blues Song www.youtube.com

[Washington Post / Daily Beast / Business Insider]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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