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Thanks to you, darling terrible ones, we are on our way from Montana to our nation's dumb capital to take your guns, kiss the #teens on their faces, and pass out "Impeach" hats like candy! Having survived the crunchy tundra that is the side of the road in Forsyth, Montana, and the frozen wasteland of a Wal-mart parking lot in Jamestown, ND (we accidentally left two days early, guess we should go see your Giant Bison on the way out of town), we are on our way to Fargo to be only one day early for your Tuesday night party! (This is confusing, because I'm the one writing it, but: YOUR PARTY IS STILL TOMORROW, TUESDAY, EVEN THOUGH WE ARE SO MUCH EARLY SO MUCH.)


Here's our itinerary for Week One of our neverending Get Your Guns Off Of My Lawn Tour 2018!

FARGO, North Dakota! Come join us for a beer and a hamburger, at SICKIE’S GARAGE, 3431 Fiechtner Dr S, Fargo, ND, (701) 478-7425. Tues., March 13, 6:30-8 p.m.!

St. Paul, Minnesota! Moscow on the Hill? HILL yeah! I will buy the Russian blinis and potato salads and whatnot, and YOU will buy your own vodka! 371 Selby Ave., St. Paul, MN, (651) 291-1236. Wed., March 14, 6-8 p.m.

Madison, Wisconsin! We will be mingling at your comrades' PRIVATE HOME, and will post the address the day before! They are going to give us beer and food and a party, so don't be shy, YOU'LL LIKE IT! Thurs., March 15, let's say 6 to 8:30 p.m.!

Chicago! Join us for a no-host wine tasting! (That means you pay $25 to drink all the wines, but we buy you nice appetizers! If you ain’t got $25, PLEASE email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com and say YOU WANT TO COME! It's cool, the Wonkette Nation sent good money for you to join us!) Fri., March 16, 7:30-9:30 p.m. at wineHouse, 3164 N. Broadway, in the “Lakeview East” neighborhood.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Sun., March 18. Still sussing out where, because I am like that!

Then we'll be on to Philly, Brooklyn, DC, Baltimore, Morgantown WV, somewhere in Kentucky, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Denver and home! Check this OG link for details!

And once again, it is your OPEN THREAD!

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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Gavin McInnes, the super gross dude who co-founded Vice and later founded "The Proud Boys," a fraternal order of yahoo racists who can "name five brands of cereal" had some thoughts this week on the detention centers that children being torn from their parents' arms are being sent to.

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