FBI Director Reminds Republicans Hillary Clinton Didn't Do Email Crimes, No Really Dude, Stop It
FBI Director James Comey went before Congress yet again Wednesday to explain that Hillary Clinton is not an email criminal, did not get preferential treatment because she's Hillary Clinton, and also did not force him to let her escape prosecution by means of any hexes, potions, nostrums, philtres, spells, or even the Cruciatus Curse. No matter how much they may wish it otherwise, she simply is not an e-crimer or traitor, or even a misdemeanorer. Also, would people please stop sending him those Alex Jones "Hillary for Prison" tee shirts, because the Director of the FBI does not even wear tee shirts. As Wonkette blogpal Tommy Christopher notes,
One bit of underreported news to emerge from these hearings is the fact that when Director Comey was asked if he believes that Hillary Clinton committed a crime with regard to the handling of classified information, he went a good deal further than he had in his July press conference, at which he tried to strike a balance between scolding Hillary Clinton and exonerating her.
Back in July, Comey had said "no reasonable prosecutor" would pursue a criminal case against Clinton, but he apparently felt the need to clarify one more time, since so many completely unreasonable would-be prosecutors have popped up since then to say "Hell's bells, I'd give 'er a shot!" At a hearing of the Senate Homeland Security & Governmental Affairs Committee Wednesday, he was a bit more definite, telling Sen. Ben Sasse there was "no evidence" to support a prosecution:
Sasse: Do you think that Secretary Clinton break any laws related to classified data?
Comey: We have no evidence sufficient to justify the conclusion that she violated any of the statutes related to classified information.
Why Hillary Clinton Will Not Rot In Jail For Aggravated Emailing: Your Ultimate #Emails Wonksplainer
Read this so you can explain How Things Work to your dumb right-wing uncle.
Republicans are almost certain to conclude that "no evidence" of wrongdoing is entirely too generous a standard, because this is Hillary Clinton, after all -- she has to be guilty of something.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.