FBI to Investigate Retouching of Pictures in Consumating Profiles

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Oh, Christ.


It's July 3, right? Not April 1? Or "National Make Up the Stupidest Press Release You Can Think of Day"?

We're trying to do that thing where you pull out one quote or line particularly representative of the stupidity of the whole thing, but we can barely restrain ourselves from just copy/pasting the entire release.

Dr. Brian E. Ulicny, senior scientist, and Dr. Mieczyslaw M. Kokar, president, Versatile Information Systems Inc., Framingham, Mass., will receive approximately $450,000 in funding for the 3-year project entitled "Automated Ontologically-Based Link Analysis of International Web Logs for the Timely Discovery of Relevant and Credible Information."

$450,000 to learn that bloggers like cats, dislike Joe Lieberman.

We want the Pentagon to spend some of that money figuring out why the Internet we had sent to us last week didn't arrive yet! We think the tubes are busy. Let's get some pattern-recognition on that.

Blogs Study May Provide Credible Information [DoD]

Pentagon Discovers Blogging [Sploid]

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