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It is the end of the day, therefore you get a fancy and fun video to watch! It is Stephen Colbert, apologizing for always assuming Eric Trump is the dumbest human-type thing Donald Trump ever spermed into existence. It is very funny, and we can vouch for that because we definitely have already watched it, you betcha.

We must admit we have also always assumed Eric is the stupidest Trump offspring. Here are some sample Wonkette headlines, about Eric Trump:

For real, we talk VICIOUS shit about how obviously stupid Eric Trump is, as it is our journalism responsibility. Like, just look at his face:

We always knew Donald Trump Jr. was very stupid too, don't get us wrong. Like, look at his face:

But Colbert is right. After Junior TOTALLY VINDICATED himself of charges of attempting to conspire/collude/bareback with the Russians, by tweeting proof that he attempted to conspire/collude/bareback with the Russians, the boys must switch places in the "Who's the stupidest Trump?" contest.

Here are your updated rankings of the Trump offspring, from dumbest to smartest:

5. Junior

4. Eric

3. Ivanka, who is still hereby invited to go fuck herself.

2. Tiffany, who is smart enough to be FAR AWAY FROM THIS SHIT, as she is off on vacation doing Instagram selfies with her boyfriend in Europe.

1. Barron gets the title of Smartest Trump, because first of all, he's a minor child, and we don't make fun of the children, and second of all, it's probably true.

Now have an open thread, all you lovely fuckers.

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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