September 18, 2006 05:39 PM
Feds Clear Al Qaeda In Spinach Attacks
Brushing off the threat of those faceless terrorists who make salads by day and kill at night, federal health officials announced today that nobody is suspected of messing with the deadly spinach leaves.
More than a hundred people have been sickened by the crappy produce, while one person has died. Tests by the FDA show no evidence of deliberate tampering, the FDA chief announced in Washington.
Killer spinach is scary enough, but we're especially horrified by the name of one suspected produce company: Natural Selection Foods.