You Can't Keep Virginia's Joe Morrissey Or Herpes Down

Like that rash you get in the warmer, wetter months -- when you thought the cream your doctor gave you had taken care of, but still gives you an odd sense of satisfaction when you scratch it -- Joseph Dee Morrissey is back. A few years ago, Morrissey was a regular embarrassment to all Democrats, and especially to the Virginia House of Delegates, where he waved around an AK-47 on the floor, and sexed his underaged secretary.

Well get ready for a new outbreak. On Tuesday, Morrissey won the Democratic primary for the 16th district of the Virginia Senate, knocking off incumbent and establishment favorite Senator Rosalyn Dance by a 12-point margin. The SD16 is such a safe Democratic seat that the GOP didn't even bother to scare up a patsy to run there. In Virginia, there is a lot of pearl-clutching and shock about Morrissey's win, mostly from nice optimists who should not be surprised by the success of an amoral creep.

Morrissey's primary campaign was not without controversy, albeit much more mundane than what we've come to expect from old pervy Joe. The Richmond Times-Dispatch reported on some irregularities with his campaign finance reporting. Also too, his family lives outside the district in a nice house in a "good" school district in Richmond's Northside (also home to everyone's favorite Senator/Dad Tim Kaine). Morrissey bought a place in the 16th District and registered to vote there to satisfy the Commonwealth's residency requirement for state Senate eligibility, but folks doubt that he really lives there as he claims. Still, let's be fair: We don't think it's a stretch to believe his wife and kids live in the big Northside house while Joe spends most nights in his Church Hill fuck pad.

When we last heard from Morrissey, he was fighting accusations of trying to trade his legal work for sexual favors while also widely being considered the frontrunner for the Richmond mayoral election. (SIDENOTE: He lost that race and was never really the frontrunner -- but he was the first name after "undecided" in most polls, in a race with like 50 candidates, in an election with byzantine rules about winning a majority of councilmanic districts...) But sure, Fightin' Joe ALLEGEDLY did legal work pro boner.

This was all a couple years after he, at the tender age of 56, allegedly sexed the 17-year-old receptionist at his law office (now his wife and mother of three of his kids). There were serious consequences of that episode. He resigned his seat in the Virginia House of Burgess Merediths, under pressure from his Democratic colleagues. He also pleaded down to "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" and served a little time. BUT while serving that time, he won the special election to fill the seat he had just resigned. Yes, from jail. Morrissey also had a work-release arrangement to go to the state Capitol during the day for the General Assembly session, and was allowed to keep his Jaguar in the parking lot of the Henrico County hoosegow at night.

These are only the most recent scandals in the Saga of Fightin' Joe, so we can understand the disgust and pearl-clutching from Virginians. The man is a sleazebag, reputed to prey on young women and people in legal trouble. What we can't understand is the surprise. He won a special election FROM JAIL, and the positive side of his reputation is that he is accessible and will help you if you need it, without judgment (other than judging your value as a target for his sexual attention).

The guy is scum, but he's glad-handing, politically adept scum. Morrissey hit the streets and talked to a ton of people, and Senator Dance missed her steps.

[Times-Dispatch / Times-Dispatch]

Follow Fitzy on twitter @chestyfitz, and give Wonkette some goddamn money.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc