Criminal syndicate

Oh golly, it is time for a #scandal involving a #Clinton, can you #believe it? The wingnut-o-sphere is ablaze, throwing its trademark recriminations and donkey sharts all over Twitter, demanding that evil Attorney General Loretta Lynch resign, for she is obviously #inthetank for #Hillary. And how do we know this? Well, because Lynch ran into Bill Clinton at the airport in Phoenix, that is why!

Here's what happened, according to Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal, that feminist Hillary-fellating rag:

Ms. Lynch said at a press conference that the Clinton meeting was unplanned. Mr. Clinton was apparently waiting to fly out of the Phoenix airport when Ms. Lynch’s plane coincidentally landed there. The former president then walked over to the attorney general’s plane to speak to Ms. Lynch and her husband.

“Our conversation was a great deal about his grandchildren. It was primarily social and about our travels,” Ms. Lynch told reporters in Phoenix on Tuesday.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Lynch says they didn't talk about the piddly-ass email "scandal," and they didn't talk about Benghazi (for which Hillary has been exonerated EIGHT TIMES NOW), but that they talked about Brexit. Lynch probably said, "What the fuck with Brexit?" Bill Clinton probably said, "GURRRRL." The end.

Here is how wingnut weenus-hole Jay Sekulow of the right-wing American Center For Law and Justice (ACLJ) describes it, in his petition for Lynch to resign:

She just had a secret closed-door meeting on a taxpayer-funded jet with former President Bill Clinton – the husband of the target of an ongoing Department of Justice (DOJ) criminal investigation and potential witness.

Attorney General Lynch violated federal regulations. She broke DOJ directives. It’s corruption at the highest level.

Meeting with the husband of former-Secretary of State Clinton while overseeing the investigation of her mishandling of classified emails violates numerous ethics rules.

Oh Christ, take a cold shower, dumbass.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]But no worries, as Lynch announced Friday that, because she got caught red-handed saying "What's shakin'" to her friend Bill Clinton at the airport, she will accept whatever the FBI and prosecutors say about whether Hillary should be indicted, crucifed and buried, or whether she should remain a free woman. No harm, no foul, right? Lynch has better damn things to do anyway, like beat North Carolina on its ass over its awful, unconstitutional trans bathroom bill.

She's not recusing herself, though, because STFU is why.

For idiot Republicans and sad wingnuts on the internet, though, Lynch's sexxx meeting with Slick Willy is part of the #CONSPIRACY!!!! They are in each other's tanks, and part of the cover-up!

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Part of the trouble wingnuts are having, we understand, is that they are clinging to the unrealistic hope that Hillary is going to be indicted and have to go to jail, because they really think she is a criminal. They are clinging to that hope like it is a gun or a Bible! But alas, that is, um, really not going to happen, and the Clinton camp knows this. And it's not because the entire US American government and Beyoncé are conspiring with the Illuminati to let the Evil Hillary into the Oval Office. It's because there's no goddamn evidence she did anything criminal, even if she did make a few fuck-ups with her emails.

As to the Phoenix meeting, hey, maybe the Clenis should have demanded that his pilot fly directly into the sky, lest he accidentally be seen cavorting with the attorney general. Maybe it also looks a little bit bad because this very same week, the State Department asked for 27 additional months to sift through Snapchats and sexts between Hillary's aides, the Clinton Foundation and others, citing "We R Slow, Need Moar Time" as their reason why. (For the record, Loretta Lynch doesn't work at the State Department, but you can't expect a chairborne wingnut to understand Goverment How Does It Work?)

So fine, maybe the OPTICS are bad.

But scandal? Jesus Christ, get a life, you fucking freaks.

[Maddow Blog / Wall Street Journal / New York Times / ACLJ petition]


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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