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You can haz kitteh


Look, we've told you before, you probably don't need to worry too much about Donald Trump practicing his Basic North Korean Hyperbole For Dummies. Probably. Just because North Korea may actually have a nuclear weapon that could maybe fit atop one of its ICBMs, and Donald Trump is warning Kim Jong Whichever This One Is (he forgets) that any aggression will be "met with fire and fury like the world has never seen," doesn't mean the president is actually threatening a rain of fire on North Korea, which would be met, immediately, by the obliteration of Seoul -- by artillery, missiles, or other conventional weapons -- just 35 miles from the DMZ. As Friend of Wonkette Charlie Pierce notes, this is, after all, what America (or an electoral majority) voted for:

 

That's not just Fire and Fury, but also, frankly, power, which is even more powerfully powerful. Dude, gotta stop the repetition. Winston Churchill would only have said the Money Phrase once.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://www.wonkette.com/621385/trump-reacts-to-scary-north-korea-nuke-news-by-bitch-tweeting-about-hillary"></a>[/wonkbar]Or maybe the North Koreans know Trump is full of shit, even when, Crom help us, he's talking about blowing up the world. You have to remember the possibility that he's stupid enough to really do something that would get out of control, but the odds are that he won't. Probably. It's not like the markets are panicking. They were too close to closing for the day to do more than drop precipitously.

Also, as everyone knows, the president is a big fan of HBO's "The Wire," which took Tom Waits's "Way Down in the Hole" as its theme song. That song, of course includes a line about Fire and Fury, so he almost certainly was just thinking about his favorite show:

Actually, never mind. "The Wire" was Obama's favorite show. (Also, shut up you haters, season two was NOT a pointless digression.)

Anyhow, just in case these are our last few hours on Earth, which they probably are not, have some kitty cats to help distract you from the inevitable shadow of nuclear-tipped doom!

These guys are sleeping just fine!

This kitty has taken up a safety position in a little basket:

Kitties also seek shelter in bowls and sinks. Not from nuclear fire, but from linearity:

Some have added stealth capability:

Really, don't worry. Haters gonna hate, Trump's gonna make fart noises with his face:

Drinking is, of course, an option. Wouldn't want the world to end with the Good Stuff still in the bottle:

Honestly, it's probably not a big deal. Just relax and watch it all unfold.

Remember, these kittens know what they're talking about:

Now take a deep breath and have an Open Thread. We'll see you in the morning, almost certainly.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the "Donate" linky to help keep the missiles way down in the silo.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Okay, we admit it. We skipped ahead and "live-blogged" in the night. After writing 4,000 words about Michael Cohen yesterday, we COULD. NOT. STOP. Lock us up in the cell next to Michael Cohen, we hear he's got JOKES. Seriously, here's Michael Cohen talking about Robert Costello, the attorney Rudy (allegedly) dispatched to dangle a pardon after Cohen flipped, without using his name.

LAWYER: Close to the President.

COHEN: Yes.

LAWYER: Employed by the White House?

COHEN: What, are we playing that game where you put it on your forehead?

LAWYER I'm grasping for straws here, Mr. Cohen. I'm just trying to figure out who the - not the intermediary. You don't have to talk about the intermediary.

COHEN: Well, if you ask me any more questions, it's either the person or King Kong, right?

Michael Cohen DGAF on February 28, and he continued to not GAF on March 6 when the Committee reconvened.

Mike Conaway (R-Irrelevance) got the ball rolling by reminding Cohen that he was still under oath -- "Typically, it finishes off with, 'So help me God,' some phrase like that." Not that he wanted Cohen to swear again, but Mike Conaway was just sayin'. Can Mike Conaway pour piss from a boot with instructions written on the heel? We would not swear to it!

Also, either Robert Costello's name is redacted all over this document because he's getting an award for excellence in legal ethics and they don't want to ruin the surprise, or he's in deep shit with SDNY. (Spoiler Alert ...)

Alright, whatcha got for us Mikey?

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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