Donate

You can haz kitteh


Look, we've told you before, you probably don't need to worry too much about Donald Trump practicing his Basic North Korean Hyperbole For Dummies. Probably. Just because North Korea may actually have a nuclear weapon that could maybe fit atop one of its ICBMs, and Donald Trump is warning Kim Jong Whichever This One Is (he forgets) that any aggression will be "met with fire and fury like the world has never seen," doesn't mean the president is actually threatening a rain of fire on North Korea, which would be met, immediately, by the obliteration of Seoul -- by artillery, missiles, or other conventional weapons -- just 35 miles from the DMZ. As Friend of Wonkette Charlie Pierce notes, this is, after all, what America (or an electoral majority) voted for:

 

That's not just Fire and Fury, but also, frankly, power, which is even more powerfully powerful. Dude, gotta stop the repetition. Winston Churchill would only have said the Money Phrase once.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://www.wonkette.com/621385/trump-reacts-to-scary-north-korea-nuke-news-by-bitch-tweeting-about-hillary"></a>[/wonkbar]Or maybe the North Koreans know Trump is full of shit, even when, Crom help us, he's talking about blowing up the world. You have to remember the possibility that he's stupid enough to really do something that would get out of control, but the odds are that he won't. Probably. It's not like the markets are panicking. They were too close to closing for the day to do more than drop precipitously.

Also, as everyone knows, the president is a big fan of HBO's "The Wire," which took Tom Waits's "Way Down in the Hole" as its theme song. That song, of course includes a line about Fire and Fury, so he almost certainly was just thinking about his favorite show:

Actually, never mind. "The Wire" was Obama's favorite show. (Also, shut up you haters, season two was NOT a pointless digression.)

Anyhow, just in case these are our last few hours on Earth, which they probably are not, have some kitty cats to help distract you from the inevitable shadow of nuclear-tipped doom!

These guys are sleeping just fine!

This kitty has taken up a safety position in a little basket:

Kitties also seek shelter in bowls and sinks. Not from nuclear fire, but from linearity:

Some have added stealth capability:

Really, don't worry. Haters gonna hate, Trump's gonna make fart noises with his face:

Drinking is, of course, an option. Wouldn't want the world to end with the Good Stuff still in the bottle:

Honestly, it's probably not a big deal. Just relax and watch it all unfold.

Remember, these kittens know what they're talking about:

Now take a deep breath and have an Open Thread. We'll see you in the morning, almost certainly.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the "Donate" linky to help keep the missiles way down in the silo.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

John McCain died last year without ever being president.

He was supposed to be president. He was beloved by the media, hailed as a statesman-like old white guy who could appeal to most people, especially all those people "in the middle" who we all assume just don't really think too hard about things. He lost the presidency to a black man named Barack Obama, who half the country thought was a socialist.

Bob Dole. Al Gore. John Kerry. John McCain. Mitt Romney. America has left a bloody trail of boring-ass, "statesman-like" white guys who were "supposed" to be president. They were supported, in a milquetoast fashion, by people who assumed that they were generally unobjectionable enough for all those "other" people to vote for. And they all lost to the kind of candidates they were never supposed to lose to.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc