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Nice time! Florida's Secretary of State has ordered a recount of the votes in four races, including both the very close Senate and Gubernatorial races -- meaning that we still have a good chance to not have to see Rick Scott's scary Bat Boy/Voldemort/Doom from Roger Rabbit/Dr. Leekie from Orphan Black face anymore.

Via CNBC:

Florida will hold a machine recount of votes in its neck-and-neck races for the U.S. Senate and governor, with results due by 3 p.m. ET (2000 GMT) on Thursday, its secretary of state said on Saturday.

The two contests, along with those for governor in Georgia and for the U.S. Senate in Arizona, are the most high-profile races still undecided after Tuesday's congressional elections.

In Florida's election for the U.S. Senate, Republican Governor Rick Scott had seen his lead narrow over incumbent Democratic U.S. Senator Bill Nelson to about 12,500 votes, or 0.15 percent, by Saturday afternoon.

In response to this news, the extremely handsome and bad ass Democratic candidate for Governor Andrew Gillum has officially retracted his concession. YAY!

Gillum is also not falling for the "it's embarrassing" line Republicans are trying to push in order to avoid a full vote count. This is so good!

Again, I love this so much. It's a certain kind of fearlessness that Democrats have not shown in... pretty much in my entire lifetime. There's always been this undercurrent of "If we are just meek enough, if we are just bland enough, the Republicans for whom the party has gone 'too far' will come to our side. If we do what they say, they'll be less mean to us!" and apparently some people have finally figured out that's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. They have searched for all the 'thank you notes' they thought they were going to receive and found them to be entirely non-existent. This gives me hope for a lot of things (number one being not trying to run John fucking Kerry in 2020) in the future.

In other nice time news, Rihanna has officially banned Donald Trump from being able to use her music at campaign stops.

Via LA Times:

Rihanna is strengthening her resolve against President Trump and now has the backing of performing rights company Broadcast Music Inc., which has notified the Trump campaign that it should discontinue use of her music at events.
BMI has removed the Barbadian songstress' work from a blanket license agreement used for campaigns. In this case, the so-called "political entities license" was an agreement with Donald J. Trump for President Inc., giving the campaign license to play her work.
The move comes just after RiRi's lawyer sent the White House a cease-and-desist letterearlier this week upon learning that Trump played her 2007 hit "Don't Stop the Music" at a rally in Chattanooga, Tenn., over the weekend.

I really do love it every time this happens. Truly. I want to see them reduced to only being able to play Ted Nugent and Pat Boone forever. Or, perhaps....


Scott Baio - "What Was In That Kiss" Golden Throats! (Merv Griffin Show 1982) youtu.be

Apologies if you did not previously know this existed, or how incredibly bad it was. Feel free to yell at me in the comments, because this is your open thread!

[ CNBC | LA Times]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

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