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Nice time! Florida's Secretary of State has ordered a recount of the votes in four races, including both the very close Senate and Gubernatorial races -- meaning that we still have a good chance to not have to see Rick Scott's scary Bat Boy/Voldemort/Doom from Roger Rabbit/Dr. Leekie from Orphan Black face anymore.

Via CNBC:

Florida will hold a machine recount of votes in its neck-and-neck races for the U.S. Senate and governor, with results due by 3 p.m. ET (2000 GMT) on Thursday, its secretary of state said on Saturday.

The two contests, along with those for governor in Georgia and for the U.S. Senate in Arizona, are the most high-profile races still undecided after Tuesday's congressional elections.

In Florida's election for the U.S. Senate, Republican Governor Rick Scott had seen his lead narrow over incumbent Democratic U.S. Senator Bill Nelson to about 12,500 votes, or 0.15 percent, by Saturday afternoon.

In response to this news, the extremely handsome and bad ass Democratic candidate for Governor Andrew Gillum has officially retracted his concession. YAY!

Gillum is also not falling for the "it's embarrassing" line Republicans are trying to push in order to avoid a full vote count. This is so good!

Again, I love this so much. It's a certain kind of fearlessness that Democrats have not shown in... pretty much in my entire lifetime. There's always been this undercurrent of "If we are just meek enough, if we are just bland enough, the Republicans for whom the party has gone 'too far' will come to our side. If we do what they say, they'll be less mean to us!" and apparently some people have finally figured out that's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. They have searched for all the 'thank you notes' they thought they were going to receive and found them to be entirely non-existent. This gives me hope for a lot of things (number one being not trying to run John fucking Kerry in 2020) in the future.

In other nice time news, Rihanna has officially banned Donald Trump from being able to use her music at campaign stops.

Via LA Times:

Rihanna is strengthening her resolve against President Trump and now has the backing of performing rights company Broadcast Music Inc., which has notified the Trump campaign that it should discontinue use of her music at events.
BMI has removed the Barbadian songstress' work from a blanket license agreement used for campaigns. In this case, the so-called "political entities license" was an agreement with Donald J. Trump for President Inc., giving the campaign license to play her work.
The move comes just after RiRi's lawyer sent the White House a cease-and-desist letterearlier this week upon learning that Trump played her 2007 hit "Don't Stop the Music" at a rally in Chattanooga, Tenn., over the weekend.

I really do love it every time this happens. Truly. I want to see them reduced to only being able to play Ted Nugent and Pat Boone forever. Or, perhaps....


Scott Baio - "What Was In That Kiss" Golden Throats! (Merv Griffin Show 1982) youtu.be

Apologies if you did not previously know this existed, or how incredibly bad it was. Feel free to yell at me in the comments, because this is your open thread!

[ CNBC | LA Times]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Good morning, America! Attorney General Bill Barr is doing a presser at 9:30 AM EDT about the Mueller report, which nobody will be able to see until around noon or after, once Congress gets the redacted report on CDs. Seeing as that is bullshit, there's no reason to watch this thing, as journalists won't be able to ask him questions about a document they haven't seen. So ... go back to bed, everyone!

Ugh, fine, we guess we will do this, and that is because we care, even though we are quite certain HGTV is doing some kind of very important "Property Brothers" marathon that adds much more of value to the national discourse, and also covers it up with shiplap accent walls. Does Bill Barr do cover-ups with shiplap? No, because he doesn't have the good taste for that.

Reportedly, we are going to hear from Barr why certain things were redacted, including why he thinks certain facts are subject to executive privilege, which is funny because he is not the president and therefore cannot invoke executive privilege. But oh whatever! Details! Robert Mueller won't be there and none of his team will be there, which tells you something about how they feel about this whole process. If they felt like this was on the up-and-up, you'd imagine they might show up to present a united front. As that is not happening, assume the entire thing is a bullshit act meant to help Donald Trump set the narrative for what will otherwise be a very bad day for him.

The New York Times reported last night that the White House has already been briefed on significant portions of the report, because Bill Barr is a rightwing scam artist piece of shit who gives the Trump White House reacharounds. The briefings have reportedly been very helpful for the White House in coming up with how to rebut today's report, which is funny because we thought Trump said this report was a full exoneration, NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION. (Actually nope on both counts, since Mueller didn't decide the obstruction question, and even according to Barr's mash notes, he took a very limited view of the conspiracy question, focusing on the Russian government's hack and dump WikiLeaks operation.)

Anyway, assuming Trump is right about full exoneration, we guess Rudy Giuliani's rebuttal will state that Trump is guilty, full stop. Because that's what "rebuttal" means, correct?

Committee chairs in the House including Jerry Nadler, Adam Schiff and Maxine Waters have called upon Bill Barr to cancel today's briefing, as it is useless horseshit. Because Barr literally gives zero fucks about his reputation and apparently is OK with going down in history as a fecal stain on our institutions and the rule of law, the show will go on.

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Now What? Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 18, 2019

Bill Barr's book report, the NRA is doomed, and Johnny Cash will watch over the Capitol. Your morning news brief!

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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