Former Burglars Reveal Their Tricks On Viral Reddit Thread! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 25, 2022

Tini made this tabs gif just for my birthday, because Bad Bad Leroy Brown was the top song of my birf!

Hi hi, do you know what today is? It is Friday. Do you know what else it is? It is my FORTY NINTH BIRTHDAY, how is such a thing even legal, I do not know! For my birthday, Donna Rose gave me her coronavirus — we think! the doctor said it was either flu or rona but "it wouldn't change anything if we tested her to find out which" because Montana doesn't do "counting coronavirus cases" I guess but it's okay, we are all vaxxed and waxed (we are not waxed) so I feel like "allergies and might fall over of tired and should go pour myself a drink," because I am writing this on Thursday and it is not the morning, it is a perfectly legitimate discourse time to pour myself a drink.

Yes, all the sentences are going to be like that, and also almost all the tabs I have open are "things on eBay I might like to buy for my new house in Detroit which is a 95-year-old MAAAANSIOOOOON" (it is a mansion to me) and not very much news or recipe hubs because so tired. Hiiii friends I looooove youuuuuu.



There are new USPS trucks and Louis DeJoy made sure they are the rootin' tootin' pollutin'est, because why fucking wouldn't he. (Vice)

The eight best high efficiency washers of 2022! Thank you, The Spruce!

More evidence that the Black woman sentenced to six years in prison for trying to register to vote — no, the other one — wasn't intentionally trying to "trick" probation officials into giving her documents stating she was eligible to vote. Because that would be fucking stupid, JUDGE. (Guardian)

Art Deco and Art Nouveau chandeliers. — eBay

A far-Right website created 38 days ago (36 when Judd Legum wrote about it) is doing better traffic on Facebook than the Washington Post is. It's Dinesh D'Souza's son-in-law, and it seems awful :) (Popular Info)

Should you paint your ceiling and walls the same color? Maybe. (Real Simple) Yes. (A Glass of Bovino) Should it be emerald green and look just like the bottom picture at the next link? Fuck yeh. (Fox and She)

Seems like Putin might be bad at "the economy," that must be why Peter Doocy kept asking Ol' Joe about "economy" during yestertoday's presser/speech, oh he was so UGH. — CNN. Russia is surprisingly not into Vlad Putin's Extra-national Adventure. — Al Jazeera. Of course, Tucker Carlson is, because he's Father Coughlin. — Bulwark

Bar fridge, ima buy you. (Best Buy)

Sarah Palin going after that damn dirty judge. — Free link (I think!) from Washington Post

I am not actually going to buy a clear front refrigerator, but I like to look at them. (Digs Digs)

Rents are rising like 50 percent, depending on which asshole hedge fund just bought your building. — PennLive

Lady thinks a lot about her pillows. (A Glass of Bovino)

A jury gave some rural counties a billion dollars because the forest service wasn't clear-cutting. I got through two paragraphs and am boiling with rage, so consider that tab now closed, because that tab is now closed. — Oregon Live

Holy shit, Art Deco liquor cabinets, you are so spendy! (Google)

Oh Lifespring! You're so terrible! "When Weird Things Happen to Gullible People," D Magazine.

Here's the burglar thingie, it's mostly like "don't be obvious you are out of town" and "don't be obvious where you hide all your jewels that you definitely have, being people with jewels and such." (My Health Gazette)

Radiators! I will paint you alllllll. — Pinterest

There we have it, some birthday tabs! Yay me! Yay you! Yay all of us! Now you can send me money <FlowerTheSkunk> if you waaaanna. </FlowerTheSkunk>

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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