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Do not despair, jobless people! You're not alone. Several members of Congress who lost their positions in the 2008 elections have yet to find gainful employment, and perennial loser Alberto Gonzales also remains at loose ends because George Bush was the only person left in America who would hire him.


Normally, when you're voted out of office you immediately rotate into a cushy sinecure lobbying for one of your most faithful in-office patrons. You make a handsome mid-to-high six-figure income and get appointed to some corporate boards, and soon enough you've rebuilt that nest egg you lost while you were in Congress, living on a mere $170,000 or so a year.

Unless you are somebody like Nick Lampson, a Democrat who lucked into serving a single term in Tom DeLay's old district before getting voted out again. (For background, see Gibbs, Shelley Sekula "Dracula Cunt.") He is still trying to figure out what he'll do with his life now that he doesn't have a bunch of conservative Republicans to offend by just being alive.

A couple northeastern Republicans, like nice old Christopher Shays and terrible motormouth phony John Sununu, also have to figure out how they'll make ends meet. Maybe they can start robbing banks together? Except, oh right, THE BANKS HAVE NO MONEY.

Out of Congress and still out of work [AP]

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