Fox Gives Ladies Their Own Talk Show, Guess What It Is About Pop Culture And 'Relationships'
Fellas, do you ever feel as if there are just too many women in your life who will not stop with the yapping about stuff like that hussy Taylor Swift and liberals and “The Big Bang Theory” and liberals and how much ladies love shooting their guns and how terrible liberals are? Do these conversations ever bleed together in one long, shrill bleat that bores into your skull like a drill press? Do you ever feel...outnumbered?
If so, you will definitely not want to watch the new Fox News daytime talk show “Outnumbered,” premiering Monday, April 28. Like every other show on Fox, it will consist of a bunch of wingnut idiots lying about everything and calling President Obama a Marxist fascist dictator who wants to steal your guns and make you pay for Sandra Fluke’s birth control. Ha, we’re kidding. The panelists will be discussing “the leading pop culture and relationship issues dominating the headlines that day.” And probably all the ways in which any negative stories are Obama’s fault.
The twist? Fox’s press release describes “Outnumbered” as “Featuring an ensemble of four female panelists and one rotating male,” which brought to mind an image of Greg Gutfeld sitting on a Lazy Susan, slowly turning in circles on a table while squawking like a chicken at the four women seated around him. Which, now that we think about it, would be a lot more entertaining than “Red Eye.”
“But Wonkette,” you are probably asking (you are not asking this), “How is this in any way different from ‘The Five,’ another show on Fox we are already ignoring?” Well, instead of Bob Beckel versus four conservatives, “Outnumbered” might be Bob Beckel versus four conservative women. Or maybe Sean Hannity and four conservative women. Or Stuart Varney and four conservative women. The possibilities are truly breathtaking.
Among the rotating female Fox personalities to whom the hapless male will be fed like a Lhasa Apso to a python on a daily basis: Andrea Tantaros, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Jedediah Bila, Kirsten Powers and our own personal favorite, Katie Pavlich. We’re very much looking forward to tracking Katie’s lies in another medium besides print.
Still, no Ann Coulter? No Dana Loesch? What about Megyn Kelly? What about the actual puddle of beaver vomit that is Michelle Malkin? Only puddle of beaver vomit Michelle Malkin joining this clusterfuck could get us to go out and buy a TV so we could then have the pleasure of throwing it out the window the first time she appears on the screen.
Follow Gary on Twitter or he'll be sad.