Fox News Has Thoughts On Kim Davis. They Are Strangely Interesting Thoughts!
Your cast of characters: Bill O'Reilly, of course; Fox daytime lady Andrea Tantaros, who is often a bigdumbstupid; and a Demon-crat lawyer lady, Jessica Ehrlich. Here are the smartest things they said, and also the parts where they ate glue together like common glue-eaters. Let's start with Bill O'Reilly:
She wants to be a martyr to the cause of Christianity ... There's nothing wrong with that ... If you want to be a martyr to the cause of Christianity, and you really in your heart believe you're doing the right thing, in a moral sense, because of your belief system, it's like the Vietnam conscientious objectors, you know, they didn't go to war, they dodged the draft, went to Canada or left the country. Nothing wrong with that. That's the way they believed. So I think if she wants to be a conscientious objector, she has to take what comes.
So wait, he's saying Davis wants to be a martyr, but that she's clearly violating the law, and if she wants to be a martyr so fuckin' bad, then she has to take her crucifixion, or whatever we do in America, and she doesn't get to complain about how much it sucks, because it's her choice? That seems like ... a correct assessment? Did BillO hit his head???
Erhlich then says Mat Staver's brain is full of dicks and he can't talk good, and something about Davis violating the law, leading O'Reilly to reassert that she "still has the right to be a conscientious objector," and that if she doesn't get her way, "they'll have to put her back in jail, and that's it." But wait, we thought Mike Huckabee said this means Christianity is against the law now. Is that wrong? And also, HOW IS THIS NOT PART OF THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS, BILL O'REILLY?
Anyway, O'Reilly's point is that she's totally breaking the law, and he says he doesn't "think she's doing anything bad if she's following her conscience," but he's also totally okay with her dealing with the consequences.
This is all very disappointing and refreshing at the same time, please say something stupid, Andrea Tantaros, we're counting on you, just like we count on somebody to visit Wonkette every day by Googling "Andrea Tantaros bikini." (Seriously, we are pretty sure it's Andrea Tantaros, and that's how she likes to spend her lunch breaks.)
TANTAROS: She doesn't have a legal leg to stand on, Bill.
O'REILLY: She does not. No legal right.
TANTAROS: She cannot unilaterally come out and decide that she's not going to enforce the law. And again, it does set a dangerous precedent.
O'REILLY: She can, but she has to take the consequences.
TANTAROS: But Bill, it sets a dangerous precedent.
O'REILLY: It does, but that's what has to happen.
WHAT IS HAPPENING AT FOX NEWS? Did Murdoch and Ailes send out a company-wide email saying something to the effect of, "Listen, our little experiment here is getting THE FUCK out of control"? Did they point out that, oh my fucking God, Donald fucking Trump could end up being president, and the fundamentalist Christians are about to start crucifying folks, all they ever wanted to do was suck the Koch brothers and the GOP's dicks a whole bunch, and also make a network that existed solely to profit off America's dumbest humans?
Please, Andrea Tantaros, one more chance to Say A Dumb:
A woman with Sharia not issuing not issuing drivers licenses to women, because she doesn't believe they can drive, or say somebody who says "I don't believe in the Second Amendment so i'm not going to give gun permits."
WHEW! OK, at least this is a LITTLE more normal. Tantaros is still (!!!) correct, but at least she is framing it in a way the average chairborne Fox viewer would understand. WHAT IF AN ISLAMIC WANTED TO DO LIBERTY? WHAT IF THEY TRIED TO DO RELIGIOUS FREEDOM TO YER GUNS?
We're still a little disconcerted by all this sane talk on Fox, though, so we're going to spend lunch Googling "Fox & Friends" and "Hillary did Benghazi" to reassure ourselves that the world is still normal.