Fox News So Sad ‘Battered’ Biden Making Them (Try To) Hit Him Again

joe biden

President Joe Biden currently enjoys an approval rating of 63 percent, but Republicans would prefer that were much lower. Perpetual outrage machine Fox News ignores the polls with all their stupid numbers and just covers Biden like he's Jimmy Carter during the 1979 gas crisis. A headline today screams: Battered Biden Under Siege As Crises Confound The White House.

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Look at poor Uncle Joe: He's moving kinda slow at the White House junction. He's so old and confused he can't manage the mounting crises plaguing the nation, such as the tension in the Middle East, a manufactured border “crisis," and apparently the continued existence of Black people.


The Fox News missive starts thusly:

Memo to President Biden: Life moves pretty fast, and now the world is on fire.

Israel is erupting, Americans are utterly confused when masks should be worn for COVID-19 protection and then there are the agita-inducing long lines for gasoline.

And that was just Tuesday.

It says a lot that the article equates the violence in Israel with the struggles of American idiots who can't bother to read the CDC website.

And it goes on like this, documenting everything wrong in the world that Biden somehow either caused or enabled.

You might think the previous White House squatter's administration was scandal-plagued, with all the staff shakeups and impeachments, but no, that was ordered calm, peace, and prosperity. We didn't know how good we had it in Republicans' imaginations.

Ben Shapiro, the smartest person in Ben Shapiro's mirror, posted the following nonsense. It's not clear if he did so with a straight face, on account of how his face always looks like that.

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Dig this shit:

Joe Biden inherited: a working vaccine, a vaccine distribution plan, an economy set to boom, and peace breaking out in the Middle East.

In his first three months, he has produced: deep vaccine hesitancy, a dramatically underperforming economy, and a Middle East war.

Ooohkay, yes, the previous White House squatter had a “vaccine distribution plan," but it involved kicking the ball to the states. There was no coordinated federal plan, and the president supposedly runs the federal government. The unemployment rate was 6.9 percent in October 2020, before the one-term loser had his ass kicked, and was 6.7 percent during November and December when President Lost Cause was otherwise occupied with overturning the election results. The unemployment rate was 6.1 in April, after steadily dropping since Biden took office. That's not a “drastically underperforming economy."

Shapiro is a shit spewer. That's his only real skill. But claiming Biden has produced “deep vaccine hesitancy" insults my intelligence and makes me very angry. Vaccine hesitancy is a Republican phenomenon, specifically in states and congressional districts that President Pandemic carried in 2020. Republicans are the ones suggesting that the people not get the vaccine. When Obama was president, Republicans refused to support his most reasonable policies because they thought it would make him look bad. Now, Republicans are willing to die if they think it'll make Biden look bad.

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Candace Owens, prominent Black white supremacist, was among the first conservative “thinkers" who boasted that she'd never take a COVID-19 vaccine. This was a full year ago. She was even locked out of her Twitter account because she kept pushing anti-vaxxer conspiracy theories. Shapiro pays Owens to make people dumber.

The entire Fox News lineup is blaming Biden for Russia's alleged ransomware attack over the weekend on the Colonial Pipeline, which serves an estimated 50 million Americans. The one-term loser would've blamed China or antifa for the attack because he never dared accuse Vladimir Putin of anything, but now Sean Hannity thinks Biden's the one "projecting weakness on the world stage."

Republicans have collectively embraced the maxim that people will believe “a big lie sooner than a little one," and their lies are sweeping and epic in scope. They shamelessly defy reality.

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House Minority Whip Steve Scalise tweeted this doozy today:

We went from energy independence to sweeping gas shortages in just a few months under Biden.

The Colonial Pipeline hack has made it clear: We need more streams of reliable energy.

Yet Biden has already caved to radical leftists and canceled Keystone XL and banned new drilling.

Journalist Ben Jackson quickly noted that the country isn't experiencing an actual gas shortage. Russia's attacks have created a temporary supply chain disruption. Biden's infrastructure plan, which Scalise opposes, would create a department that specializes in securing supply chains. Scalise can go fuck himself (that's my observation, not Jackson's).

But Republicans and conservatives are so eager to take down Biden, they'll insist the nation is on fire. Now the US Consumer Product Safety Commission has to warn people not to fill plastic bags with gasoline, so the dummies won't actually catch on fire.

Will all the insincere Sturm und Drang cause Biden's numbers to drop? The Republicans played this game with Obama, when the economy was legitimately struggling. Unemployment averaged close to 10 percent in 2009 and 2010. It was around eight percent when Obama was reelected in 2012. Biden's numbers will only improve as the vaccinate rates climb. Americans have admittedly short memories, but they can recall when the nation was truly on fire and who was supposedly in charge at the time.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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