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SADNESSES!


Last week Sean Hannity was doing his usual, just getting his iPad screen all wet with his sad tears, because there were rumors that Bill Shine, co-president of Fox News, bestie of sex-slimer Roger Ailes and protector of falafel-spooger Bill O'Reilly, was about to be pushed out of his position at the network. In fact, journalist Gabe Sherman was reporting the rumors, which meant they were probably WHOA IF TRUE:

You can tell Hannity was crying that afternoon, because of all the grammatical errors in that tweet, unless he meant to put an umlaut in "Gabe" and he actually intended to sign his letter as "Best Sean." But really? All of Fox News will DIE if Bill Shine is fired?

Well, RIP Fox News, we guess! Rupert Murdoch sent this letter to Fox employees Monday, to tell them how Shine had "resigned":

OH DEAR! The chips just continue to fall! This couldn't have happened to a nicer network that happens to have a long record of protecting sexual abusers and harassers, and that's on top of how 98% of its reporting (basically all of it that isn't done by Shep Smith) is 100% bullshit.

The New York Times gives a little more background, for readers who aren't obsessed with the workplace politics of Dipshit Central:

Mr. Shine had been cited in several lawsuits as someone who enabled and concealed Mr. Ailes’s behavior and dismissed concerns from women who complained about it. He has denied all wrongdoing.

For more on that, check out Andrea Tantaros's lawsuit and Gretchen Carlson's lawsuit and the story of Laurie Luhn, and then just Google "Bill Shine" and "sexual harassment" and learn how he's the guy who's protected ALL the abusers, "allegedly." From what we can tell, the only nice thing he's ever done is that time he picked up the phone and called mutant Trump lawyer Michael Cohen and reminded him that it would be bad if the Trump campaign ended up getting Megyn Kelly killed. That was mighty big of him!

More from the NYT:

His departure is sure to roil some of Fox News’s most recognizable stars, with whom Mr. Shine had close relationships. Sean Hannity, the channel’s 10 p.m. mainstay, is particularly close with Mr. Shine, and he publicly defended his friend this week on Twitter, saying that removing Mr. Shine would be “the total end of the F.N.C. as we know it. Done."

We are monitoring Sean Hannity's Twitter feed for evidence of the pain he is now feeling, so we can LOL and kick him while he's down. Unfortunately, he hasn't tweeted since the news came out. Maybe he is looking for his inhaler.

He was tweeting Sunday night, though. If we are reading between the lines correctly, this is all part of a #conspiracy to do #microaggressions to the #safespaces of Trump-supporting #fuckholes by getting them fired. And it seems like he thinks he is next!

Goodness! We don't know why he thinks he's getting fired, since all the firings at Fox have been men who harassed ladies, and now Bill Shine, the man who protected those dudes. And yeah, we know that crazy wingnut anti-Muslim woman Debbie Schlussel said Hannity kind of perved on her, but she later clarified that she didn't really mean he sexually harassed her.

So why is Sean Hannity, the dumbest person at Fox News, losing his paranoid shit right now?

Haha, just answered our own question, it's because he's stupid, THE END.

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[New York Times]

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