Fox News Reminds Stupid Fox News Hosts Not To Be So Stupid All The Time
King of the stupids
BREAKING NEWS: There are limits to the level of stupidity allowed at Fox News. It seems that Dana Blanton, vice president of public opinion research for the "news" organization, has had to fire off a memo to some of the idiot Fox hosts, reminding them that, though being a moron who drinks from the toilet bowl is a job requirement, they really shouldn't be citing all those stupid unscientific web polls that say Donald Trump won the debate -- which Trump has been citing vigorously! -- when the only actual scientific polls taken have shown that Hillary Clinton buried him in the ground like a dead class pet:
Dana Blanton ... explained in the memo obtained by Business Insider that "online 'polls' like the one on Drudge, Time, etc. where people can opt-in or self-select … are really just for fun."
"As most of the publications themselves clearly state, the sample obviously can't be representative of the electorate because they only reflect the views of those Internet users who have chosen to participate," Blanton wrote.
As the Fox News executive pointed out, users who participate in such polls must have internet access, be online at the time of the poll, be fans of the website in question, and self-select to participate.
"Another problem — we know some campaigns/groups of supporters encourage people to vote in online polls and flood the results," she wrote. "These quickie click items do not meet our editorial standards."
Editorial standards: Fox News HAS THEM. (For real? We are just as shock-and-awed as you are!)
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/605251/can-somebody-please-give-sean-hannity-a-pacifier-or-a-buttplug-for-his-mouth"></a>[/wonkbar]Walking dildo fluffer and Trump supporter Sean Hannity, as well as "Fox & Friends" host Brian Kilmeade (who we've always called "the rapey one," though he hasn't been named the rapey one in ANY of the Fox News sexual harassment lawsuits), have apparently been the worst offenders, touting those fake online polls that mean nothing to show that Trump IS TOO winning all the things! This makes sense, because as we all know, Sean Hannity and Brian Kilmeade are the very stupidest people at Fox News. Good lord:
"I have it in front of me. Time magazine, Drudge Report, CNBC, The Hill, CBS — the only one that has Hillary winning is CNN, and they are the 'Clinton News Network,'" Hannity told millions of viewers.
Not only did CBS not conduct a poll, but Hannity strongly implied that the unscientific online polls were more accurate than the CNN/ORC poll, a patently false claim.
"They surveyed — these other ones have hundreds of thousands if not millions" of participants, Hannity said of the polls.
We just don't know about that Sean Hannity boy, or how he ties his shoes in the morning, or how he manages to work his zipper without mangling his pee-pee when he needs to make tinkle, or ...
According to Business Insider, Kilmeade's co-host Steve Doocy -- who HAS been named as "the rapey one" in Andrea Tantaros's lawsuit! -- cited the polls, but actually pointed out that they were unscientific. He found the results "interesting." The third Fox host to ACTUALLY think these online polls were the bee's ballsack was Martha MacCallum, and we forget who she is right now, so screw her.
Also too, Hannity and Kilmeade are still using the fake polls, apparently, because in order to read Dana Blanton's memo, they'd have to know how to read in the first place, and can we confirm that they are literate? Wonkette has never seen them reading anything with their lips moving, so we are unwilling to speculate.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/484981/dont-worry-republicans-we-have-found-these-awesome-made-up-polls-for-you"></a>[/wonkbar]Now, you might be thinking, "Why would Fox News care? Isn't telling wingnuts who huff paint thinner what they want to hear Fox's business model?" We have a feeling the 2012 election might be a factor here, when Fox and Karl Rove were SO OBSESSED with "unskewing the polls" to show that Mittens McRomney was beating Obama, and then got all the egg on their faces when it was revealed that ayup, the real polling outfits got it right and Barry Kenya-stan Obama would be president for FOUR MORE YEARS.
Also too, Donald Trump is Roger Ailes's boy, and Ailes has gone to live on the farm where all the other perverted farm animals go to live, so maybe Fox doesn't care quite as much about licking Trump's grundle these days.
We dunno, we are just still dying over how there is a level of stupid at Fox News that is considered TOO STUPID. Can you believe that? NO IT IS UNPOSSIBLE, therefore you didn't just read this post.