Fox News's 'The Five' Had Some Pretty Neat Afternoon Chit-Chat Yesterday

It's easy to forget that there are people all over the country who are at home during weekday afternoons, and they turn on Fox News and watch "The Five" like it is the real news. You know which one that is, it's got Judge Boxwine and Jesse Watters and Geraldo and known jokester Greg Gutfeld and somebody else, and they sit at a table and talk about what's hot, what's not, and so on and so forth.

So here they are making very hilarious commentary about how Sarah Silverman said on "The View" that she shares toothbrushes with her boyfriend, or something:

Jesse Watters does a poll of who would share toothbrushes.

Boxwine says "NOT A CHANCE!"

Geraldo says if you're fuckin' why not. Geraldo knows about fuckin' and also oral hygiene.

"Dagen" — the other one, we guess — says sometimes she accidentally uses the toothbrush she uses to clean the tile in the bathroom.

Gutfeld makes a very funny joke about how on "The View" they all put their teeth in the dishwasher. This is why he is such a popular comedy host, jokes like this just come to him.

Next clip!

Boxwine is ranting that she heard on the news that "FOUR MS-13 GANG MEMBERS CROSSED THE BORDER AND TWO CONVICTED CHILD SEX PREDATORS," and lamented that Joe Biden just wants to talk about other things that aren't important, like how MAGA is an extremist movement, and also abortion. "This guy is talkin' about the MAGA king and how bad the world, how bad abortion is, not having it," said Boxwine, slowly forming a full thought on the fly.

Again, because he is the joking one, Greg Getfucked says, "I think the abortion bill is their baby formula," and then he makes this face like "Welp i just told the truth! DEAL WITH IT!"

And literally, off camera, you hear people say "MMMMMM!" like he has just shared a profound thought that means something.

Boxwine says, "You know what, they gotta learn to feed the babies. And not ... the other."

Greg says, "That was my point."

Boxwine says, "Yes."

Take a few moments to reflect on how much more money these people make than you do. Just make that your morning meditation today.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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