Fox News Too Classy To Air Tucker Carlson Screaming Obscenities At 'Moron' Guest

Fox News and Tucker Carlson are a class act, bringing family friendly programming like his rants about dirty foreigns,panda sex, and why do we even need "diversity" anyway. So it only stands to reason they'd want to protect their viewers from filthy nastiness, like a discarded segment from Monday's "Tucker Carlson Tonight" in which Minihannity (allegedly) lost his shit and started screaming obscenities at a guest who thinks billionaires should maybe pay higher taxes.

The guest, Dutch historian Rutger Bregman, made a big name for himself at January's World Economic Forum in Davos when he said billionaires should stop wanking around with little bits of private philanthropy and do something about worldwide inequality like maybe supporting equitable taxation. It went kind of viral -- and sorry about the cheesy public domain intro music, but it goes away pretty quickly:

Bregman noted that none of the billionaire class really seemed interested in talking about one really big thing:

I hear people talking the language of participation, justice, equality and transparency but then almost no one raises the real issue of tax avoidance, right? And of the rich just not paying their fair share. It feels like I'm at a firefighters' conference and no one's allowed to speak about water.

Oh, that's good stuff. He noted the ridiculous question, at Davos, by tech billionaire Michael Dell, who dared anyone to name a single nation in history that ever prospered with a 70 percent marginal tax rate, and like a big jerk fact knower, Bregman pointed out that the USA had a top marginal rate of 91 percent in the 1950s, although he failed to mention that as a result, we all had to live without computers, flatscreen color TVs, and cell phones, so were we even prosperous then?

Looks like Bregman has wrote himself book called Utopia for Realists, which we're going to have to check out, too!

So Tucker Carlson invited Bregman onto his Fox show to play the important role of liberal who gets told to shut up, only apparently that didn't go as Carlson planned. Bregman tweeted Monday that he'd shown up and done the interview, but Carlson had trouble keeping a civil tongue:

Yup. Bregman says he has a tape. Whee! He subsequently twote he had received an email from Carlson, or if you want to be generous, which we don't, a subaltern:

Okay, so now @TuckerCarlson sent me this email, after I asked him when the interview is gonna air (was supposed to be on tonight). Stay tuned.

Bregman followed up with an earnest question for Tucker: Hey, you gonna air that segment where you went dingoshit because I said you're a rich fuckwad? Oh yes, and he said more explicitly that he has his own recording.

We want to see/hear this tape of Tucker swearing profusely! Or maybe sweating profanely! In any case, Carlson's executive producer, Justin Wells, sent out a statement explaining that all in all, it just wouldn't be appropriate to subject Fox News viewers to such a rude bad guest:

Sadly, the guest turned an opportunity to have a substantive, informative discussion into an obviously calculated personal insult campaign. We were disappointed in the segment and respect our audience's time too much to consider airing it.

Translation: The Dutch guy wouldn't let Tucker bully him and Tucker lost his shit because he is supposed to dominate on his set. Also, let's just count the ways Tucker Carlson's production staff respects the audience's time!

Fine, we guess maybe you get the idea. We respect your time too much to add more.

(Yes, there are plenty more.)

And now everyone wants to see the unedited video -- either one! Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the Tucker Carlson hissyfit. I think you will probably be rewarded with a lot of hilarious dance remixes like that Bill O'Reilly classic.

Fuck It! We'll Do It Live!

In conclusion, how the fuck is it only Wednesday? WE'LL DO IT LIVE!

[Guardian / Splinter / John Whitehouse on Twitter]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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