Fox News: Was Deputy FBI Director McCabe Trying To Sassinate The President? PS: THEY ARE NOT A CRANK!

Yesterday, Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe testified for eight hours before the House Intelligence Committee. We're impressed that anyone lasted eight minutes before lunging across the table to wipe the smug off Trey Gowdy's face. (WITH VOTES.) Just last Friday, Gowdy was crowing to the shock troops at Fox that, "“I’ll be a little bit surprised if [McCabe’s] still an employee of the FBI this time next week." And now he's trying to get McCabe to admit that the FBI was totally in the tank for Hillary, Strzok and Page's stupid texts were part of a Deep State plot to destroy Donald Trump, and the Dodgy Dossier is faker than the Elders of Zion.

(JK! Everyone knows the Elders of Zion is REAL!)

Luckily, Gowdy wore his coolest shirt.

Nice shirt, Poindexter!

In case you aren't up on all your Republican bullshit, Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe's PAC donated $700,000 to Andy McCabe's wife when she ran for the Virginia state Senate in 2015. Terry McAuliffe and Hillary Clinton are THE SAME PERSON, and thus McCabe is BIASSSSS. If you think about it really hard ... it still makes no damn sense. FFS, the FBI's New York Office was flogging the "Clinton Cash" hitjob and leaking to Rudy Giuliani throughout the campaign! But Republicans are desperate to kill the Mueller investigation by "proving" that the FBI is some liberal, pro-Hillary bastion, so they'll take what they can get.


Conveniently for Republicans, they can jump up and down hollering that McCabe should be fired without actually having to do anything about it. As a civil servant, he can't be removed by Trump. And FBI Director Christopher Wray is a solid professional who is unlikely to fire McCabe without cause. Which suits Republicans down to the ground, since it allows them to pretend the investigation is hopelessly BIASSSSSS no matter how many Trumpland crimes turn up. Win win win!

Andrew McCabe cuts across every facet of every investigation in 2016 that your viewers are interested in, from Secretary Clinton's email, to the investigation into the Trump campaign. He's the Deputy Director of the FBI, so there are a ton of questions including the one you made reference to, the meeting between Agent Strzok and Lisa Page in "Andy's office." We need to make sure if that was Andy McCabe, and if they were coming up with a "insurance policy" in case Donald Trump won, that is devastating.

Pitch perfect, Trey! You managed to impugn the man's integrity without slandering him. Well played.

Unfortunately, the guy who followed you on Fox's Outnumbered didn't get the memo.

Well, I think they're going to say, what was his intent, right? Because that's exactly what FBI Director - former FBI Director Comey said when he was letting Hillary Clinton off the hook. And his intent, regardless of whether it was an assassination attempt or whatever, it was definitely something.

Kevin Jackson, the esteemed author of "Race Pimping: The Multi-Trillion Dollar Business of Liberalism," is just wondering if Andrew McCabe was intending to assassinate the president. You know, just asking questions!

Host Harris Faulkner looked to her three co-hosts for help, but those ladies have been at Fox News long enough to know when to shut up so no one quotes you in the daily CRAZY SHIT AT FOX NEWS story. Faulkner had no choice but to throw herself on the grenade.

Faulkner: Because I know how things get clipped on social media, I just want to press in on the fact that no one has floated any sort of an idea that it was --

Jackson: Oh, it's been floated. When I talk about this, I'm talking about social media stuff and, you know, that's out there, I'm not talking about media sources.

Yes, he saw it in the feverswamp of the wingnut social media, so he has to bring it up on national television. That is just very good journalism, for which Fox is well-known. Jackson himself is well known for being batshit crazy. Here's a quote from a couple days ago on his blog.

Leftists unleashed the kraken, and now they don’t know what to do.

Democrat clowns prostitute American laws allowing children of illegals hope of becoming citizens. All for votes.

Gosh, how could Fox have known that a guy like that would come on and accuse a career civil servant of plotting to assassinate the president? It's almost like they picked the craziest loon they could find and gave him a platform to launder an alt-right conspiracy theory on national television. Can't wait to see the tweets off this one. "Crooked Hillary planted Andy McCabe at FBI to ASSASSINATE your favorite president (me)! Many people were saying Putin was involved. Believe me!" Counting down in 3...2...1...

UPDATE: After McCabe's testimony, Gowdy walked back his speculation that McCabe was leaving the FBI. McCabe had asked to reschedule his House interview because of a scheduling conflict, and Gowdy decided that this was a lie meant to delay until after McCabe's departure from the Bureau.

Asked by The Hill if he was hinting that McCabe would be dismissed or resign from the bureau by Tuesday, Gowdy said, “I probably was, but I was probably wrong.”

“Fairness is not always rewarded in my line of work, but I probably should have waited to hear his side of it,” he said.

That's mighty white of you, Congressman.

Are you a good Wonker who sends us money by Amazon? Well not anymore you’re not, because Amazon done fucked our payment system. Would you be so great as to re-sign with Paypal or Stripe? K we love you bye.

[Mediaite / Fox / / The Hill]

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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