France Looking For A Trump To Call Its Own. Wonkagenda For Mon., April 17, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Mike Pence took his wife to Seoul, South Korea, and said mean words at North Korea, then he whipped out his saber and wiggled it at the DMZ.
- Why the heck are you losers still talking about taxes and marching through the streets? You hippy protesters, with your screaming for transparency! You all need to go get jobs so you can be You're Fired!
- ICE has been arresting all the Messicans, regardless of whether or not they've committed crimes, simply because they're Not Americans.
- The beatings on civil liberties in Jeff Sessions's police state will continue until you submit to the boot of authoritarian justice.
- Don't be fooled, Trump's "good government" rhetoric is really just an excuse to layoff the federal workers necessary for the federal government to do literally anything.
- Trump's White House is nothing more than a shitty reality show where all the actors are crude and clueless characterizations of themselves. LOW RATINGS.
- Big businesses are getting exactly what they want under Trump because he specifically asked them what he should do, and it doesn't look good for the EPA.
- Technically speaking, Trump didn't make a boom-boom last week, the Pentagon did because it already had "standing authority" to make boom-boom on bad guys.
- An old Trumpkin who ALLEGEDLY hit a lady at a Trump rally says that Trump made him do it after encouraging his minions to "get 'em out of here."
- Scumbag and Benghazi douche-weasel Jason Chaffetz has some competition in Kathryn Allen, his new Democratic opponent, who just raised half a million dollars in small donations.
- Mitch McConnell is being a fussy little bitch to Elizabeth Warren after she persisted.
- Glenn Greenwald's Internet hate machine is setting its sights on Rachel Maddow because of her insistence on covering Trump-Russia cahoots.
- The son of a glorified Cold War-era Republican has been taking money from Turkey to influence U.S. foreign policy, just like Mike Flynn, and that's just the start of all the weirdness.
- ICYMI, the Bush 43 neo-cons are back in business as Trump's idiots struggle to figure out how to stop publicly embarrassing themselves.
- One of France's presidential candidates is running an abstention campaign if/when the election goes to a run-off, which wouldn't be so bad if there weren't two crazypants, pro-Putin loud mouths trying to scuttle the EU.
- And here's your late night wrap-up! John Oliver begged France not to fuck up; SNL voted President Bannon off the island, and had a special Spicey Easter sorry 'splainer with Melissa McCarthy.
- And here's your morning Nice Time! Sea Otters! And here's a BONUS sea otter conservation Nice Time!
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