Free Abortions for All!
Mike Huckabee, seeking to channel Kang's seminal policy position from the 1996 debates of "Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others," ran circles around the abortion question on Meet the Press this weekend. He believes that the scientific evidence shows that life begins at conception, women are victims of abortionists and doctors who accept money for abortions should be punished. From this, we now assume that Huckabee's position on Roe vs Wade is that abortions should only be legal when they're free and that "we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom." All that twirling, though, can really make you dizzy, so be careful.