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French Nuclear Waste Dump Explodes, Kenyan Oil Pipeline Explodes

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How is the world of energy going, today? Not so well! In the non-German, still-nuke-having European land of France, a nuclear waste dump in Marcouleexploded. At least one person is dead and several are injured and of course there is "no danger" until, like every recent nuclear disaster, the entire province is pronounced off limits to humanity for the next 10,000 years. (The Fox News-esque British deadpan comedy blog Daily Mail marks the explosion with the headline, "Marcoule explosion: Is the tide of anti-nuclear irrationality on the turn?") And in Barack Obama's socialist "Aloha State" of Kenya, a gigantic oil pipeline exploded in a heavily populated slum of Nairobi, killing at least a hundred.


East Coast earthquakes, Manhattan hurricanes, tens of millions of American households without electricity, what else can we expect along with the constant West Coast radioactive rain from the still-spewing Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster ? How about stinkbugs! There is a new plague of stinkbugs, in America, and you will not be spared:

The reviled brown marmorated stinkbug has made its nasty presence known throughout the Mid-Atlantic, eating fruit and vegetable crops and invading homes. But there’s been one good thing about the pest. It’s created jobs.

Gah, never mind! Welcome, stinkbugs! Stinkbugs is Obama's jobs plan! (This is an ironic/incorrect use of "is." Check reddit or something for an explanation, or Comic-Con.) [Al Jazeera/Treehugger/Daily Mail]

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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