French Shower Rumsfeld with Love, Subpoenas
You'd think Donald Rumsfeld would know better than to go to the land of rabid Jerry Lewis fans, striped boating shirt aficionados and melty cheeses, but oh, no! He probably thought, "It's Sarkozy's town, now," and, therefore, he'd be greeted as a liberator. Well, not exactly:
Former US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's jaunt to France was interrupted today by an unscheduled itinerary item -- he was slapped with a criminal complaint charging him with torture.
Rumsfeld, in Paris for a discussion sponsored by the magazine Foreign Policy, was tracked down by representatives of a coalition of international human rights groups, who informed the architect of the US invasion of Iraq that they had submitted a torture suit against him in French court.
The filed documents allege that during his tenure, the former defense secretary "ordered and authorized" torture of detainees at both the American-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq and the US military's detainment facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Also: they yelled at him and called him a murderer! And it's totally unfair! Because that Abu Ghraib stuff? It's not like he connected the battery cables to the terrorists' genitals himself or anything! God, that country has gone to the dogs. Renoir would be so embarrassed.