Fringe Candidates Cement Their Fringeness by Making Desperate, Poorly Thought Out Appeals
On a daily basis, Wonkette gets a whole host of emails, many of which are precious and adorable in the way they try to get us to care about things that are important to people. Today we received one such missive from Michael Connelly, a supporter of Mike Gravel. Remember him? Only last week we discovered he existed and is apparently running for President or something!
If the GAWKER could find some way to give Senator Gravel some attention, you would be helping to end the war in Iraq.
So, just two days ago, according to Gravel, ending the Iraq War was going to take the rough-hewn loins of an all-gay Spartan-esque fighting force. Now, winning the Iraq War will only require some attention from THE GAWKER.
Michael, look. We are going to let you down easy. It's clear that you aren't very familiar with our Great Works, but, by way of an example, THE GAWKER has been on a years-long campaign called Blue States Lose in which they attempt to shame club-going attention whores into not spending each weekend dressing up like a gaggle of semen-encrusted parade floats from the red light district of Pan's Labyrinth. We have failed at even this. Our advice to you is to keep Gravel's eyes on the prize, work this ban-heteros-from-the-military angle, and be proud you're not backing a cretin like Guiliani.