From Creepy Rooms to Masterpieces, 11 Discoveries Homeowners Made This Year! Tabs, Mon., Dec. 13, 2021

Happy St. Lucy's Feast Day to all who celebrate!

I, a Catholic just like Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett, have had three miracles in my life. One was when Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker, was Night Stalkin around Southern California (very soon, some Mexican American dudes would catch him and BEAT FUCK OUT OF HIM, and all Southern California would be all YAY MEXICAN AMERICAN DUDES, as is right and proper) and I was so scared and terrified and as I prayed and prayed and prayed, my mom burst into my room and said REBECCA! I FOUND THE KEY TO THE FRONT DOOR!

So we could lock it, because we didn't, because we are hippies.

Another was the time I was at Mass the week after my brother died, and I said, I wonder if there is a St. Lucy, and when I got home and looked it up, in a book as that was what we looked things up in at the time, St. Lucy's feast day was in fact that very day, and she was the patron saint of having your eyes on a plate, JUST LIKE ME.

I forget what the third one was. Time for some tabs!

"Isn't December an unusual time for tornadoes?" you vaguely asked yourself at the news that 70 (yesterday morning?) people in Kentucky had died of Christmas tornadoes. Not anymore.

Tucker's deal doesn't make any damned sense unless he is running for president, says Eric Alterman at TAP. Ah, but Eric Alterman at TAP seems to think it's weird that Tucker is racist as shit, when Wonkette has had year-end posts on This Year in Tucker Carlson Being Racist as Shit for a fuckin' decade.

How the Gateway Pundit incites death threats against elections officials. These are extremely bad people. — Reuters special report

Amanda Marcotte on the MAGA monster moms. (Salon)


Joe Biden has more in common with Jimmy Carter than you thought: They were both elected to be SUPERHEROES AND FIX EVERYTHING IN ONE SECOND, and people got mad as shit when they didn't, because people are fucking stupid. Good Eleanor Clift in Daily Beast.

The Tories had a VERY secret Santa Christmas party while all of the UK was on lockdown like we can't envision here, and Laurie Penny is PISSED. (Substack)

Katha Pollitt's Christmas list. Good things and people to whom you can send money! She did not include Wonkette, but you can. (The Nation)

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Does your Christmas tree smell like pee? Ours does. Are you going to do one of these hugely inconvenient things to combat it? We're not. (Get Smell Out)


I do not know if this is a good recipe for chocolate-covered orange peels, but if it isn't, I will keep looking them up till one gets it right. — Appetizer Addiction

This is too many Christmas desserts. (

Reader George sends some deliciousness. Reader George forgot to send them in corporeal form to Wonkette, Box 361, Polson MT 59860.


Cream together in a mixer:

2 eggs, beaten

1 tsp vanilla

½ pound melted butter


2 cups flour

2 cups oatmeal (not quick cooking)

1 cup white sugar

1 cup brown sugar

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

½ tsp salt

Add and continue to mix:

4 - 5 ounces of sweetened dried cranberries (about 1 cup)

1 cup chopped walnuts

drop by teaspoon (or take a teaspoonful of dough and roll into a ball) well apart on cookie sheet

bake 375 for about 10 minutes

makes 4 – 5 dozen


Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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