Where In The World Is Michael Avenatti? He Is In London Having Tea With The Queen!

Jesus Christ playing croquet with the Queen of England, what in the fuck is this bollocks? It seems beautiful man lawyer Michael Avenatti got on his own plane and rode the tailwinds of Air Force One, so he could go bother Donald Trump in London.

But it's OK, because he's not touching Trump, so Trump can't get mad. NOT TOUCHING! CAN'T GET MAD!

You'll be fucking shocked to hear he found a TV camera to seduce with his lips and his eyes during the London protests:

It's not like Avenatti has had anything else going on this week, what with defending Stormy Daniels and telling Shera Bechard's lawyers to eat his toned sex body and defending families at the border and still somehow managing to make it to Lawrence O'Donnell's MSNBC studio every single night to be O'Donnell's "surprise guest." Why not squeeze a quick little jaunt to London into the schedule, just on the off chance Donald Trump, who is pretty clearly afraid of Avenatti, sees him on TV, realizes he's being followed by more than just Russian spies keeping tabs on him for Putin, and gets so scared he does a gold-plated donkey shit in his ill-fitting suit right in front of Queen Elizabeth?

Stay tuned for next week on the Michael Avenatti Show, when he announces he's handling Melania Trump's divorce, but not pro bono, because fuck that. Long as he doesn't run for president (HARD PASS) we're fine with it. Also any activities he'd like to do sans pants, that would be just dandy.

OK it is your open thread because we are tired now, have a good weekend, GOODNIGHT.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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