ScaryWe regret missing the "Washington's Funniest Celebrity Contest," though we can't say the coverage makes us miss it a lot. The Reliable Source advised many to "keep their day jobs," while FishbowlDC wondered, "We're supposed to be laughing with, not at, them, right?" But what were people expecting? It's the least surprising discovery of bombs since Judith Miller turned in her notes from Iraq.

Our Low Expectations Operative filed a report.

Fashion-wise: "many icky polyester sheaths, complete with pantylines. yikes."

"The winner, Brian Baird's impersonation, depended on the same joke (3 times). Putting up a graph of (gas prices/unemployment, etc.) on their side, so that they look like they are going down, instead of up. While funny, not incredibly creative... the MAYOR was the funniest person in the room. by far. who knew? First joke was just up your alley: 'Okay, you all better put down those wine glasses, because I've got police positioned on the street.'"

Also funny: "Linda Sanchez dating a first responder who turned out to be a 'premature responder.'"

More highlights after the jump.

Mayor Willams, funny politican continued:  "I’m not running for re-election, so I am trying to think of other jobs.  I thought about President of American University, but there just aren’t enough perks."  He was better than Rudy Guliani on Saturday Night Live.  And he knew when to quit. 


Impersonators won the night - Brian Baird doing Bush, Adam Schiff doing Jon Stewart.  Alas, the subtle and sophisticated humor of Slate's John Dickerson was mostly lost on the crowd, though they did like his Dr. Suess as a possible Senate hearing response strategy for poor Harriet Miers when she’s asked about Roe v. Wade:  “I will not answer what you say, I will not answer go away.  I will not answer here or there.  I will not answer anywhere.  I will not answer in a boat, I will not answer in a moat.  I will not answer in a house, I will not answer with a mouse."


And he joked that the AP story about Karl Rove’s garage was “completely banal. I mean he had a step ladder, some rope, some 1960s Texas National Guard records and who among us doesn’t have a box labeled “votes from Ohio.”


Surprise funnywoman:  Linda Sanchez.  Working the recently divorced, hard to date and be a congresswoman (and a Latina!  So many stereotypes are competing!) territory, she embraced them all in a burst of refreshing candor and dirt:  the problem is, the Republicans who hit on me are all married, and the Democrats who ask me out are all (beat) gay. Said you would be surprised who propositions you in congress like… Katherine Harris. [Funny because it's true! -- ed] She claimed some attention from the Republican side of the aisle because you know:  Republicans are interested in screwing the poor.  Margaret Cho would be proud.


Mark Ploktin was bad.

Clarence Page was not funny, although he made a brave effort.  And dressing up like Elvis for a mid dinner song takes a lot of gumption in this town.  He joked that Bill Bennett was in the room, so “run black babies run”.  And he got (a mild) one off at Ann Coulter: if she was a supreme court nominee, she’d want to shorten the robes.


Surprise funnyman #2.  Grover Norquist.  Yes, really.  Was misdirected in a few jokes, but did mine the husband/wife territory (he’s newly married). And also himself – a book that they are working on for fourth graders over at the NRA:  Heather has Two Hunters.


Andrew Sullivan’s gay routine did not get many laughs, but did win a prize (3rd runner up).  I think that is fourth in most worlds. 


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