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The Week In Garbage Men: Going Carnivore To Own The Libs, Alex Jones Gets Gone, And A New MGTOW Hero

Culture

Hello and welcome to The Week In Garbage Men, which is sort of more like the month in garbage men because I haven't done it for a hot minute. Frankly, I needed a little mental break from online extremism, specifically the incels. Still kind of do, which is why I'm not even going there this week. However -- there's been a lot of news this week surrounding terrible dudes that we did not necessarily get to, because of an extra terrible dude, Brett Kavanaugh -- the man poised to take away our reproductive rights.


The featured pic in this week's rundown is of a Garbage Plate, by the way. It is a delicacy, of sorts, in my hometown of Rochester, NY. I have never actually eaten one, and people judge me for that -- but it usually involves macaroni salad, which is disgusting, so I don't care. It also usually involves either two burgers or two hot dogs, potatoes of some kind, and "hot sauce," which is not actual hot sauce, but rather the meat sauce that goes on top of said garbage plate.

It is, however, a festive and appropriate choice of a featured picture because...

Right-wingers Are Totally Gonna Own Us By Eating All The Meat

Last month, Jordan Peterson swung by the Joe Rogan show to talk about his new carnivore diet -- in which he eats nothing but beef and salt and water. As a result of this "diet," Peterson claimed that drinking one glass of apple juice caused him to not sleep for 25 days, which is actually completely impossible because if you did not sleep for 25 days, you would die. He says he has embraced this diet -- which his daughter Mikhaila is an advocate of -- for "health reasons."

Since then, those inspired by literally everything Peterson does have since also taken up this diet, in hopes that it will restore their masculinity (???) and piss off liberals. I guess because they think we are all vegetarians?


The Daily Beast's Kelly Weill, who reported on the trend earlier this month, discussed it on Mother Jones' Bite podcast this week, explaining why fringe right-wingers like Gab founder Andrew Torba have taken up the trend.

A lot of conservatives are very worried about losing their status as a white person or losing economic status. And I think there's maybe a similar current with practitioners of this diet—really feeling like, 'Somebody's going to take away my meat.' It's symbolic to them; it's an element of their masculinity and their identity.

Good god that's sad.

Yay! Alex Jones Got Banned From Twitter!

This week, Twitter finally got it together to ban Alex Jones for violating the site's rules -- after Jones went ballistic on several people, including Marco Rubio, CNN's Oliver Darcy, and Twitter founder Jack Dorsey during this week's congressional hearing on social media. Suddenly, they realized that several of his tweets and videos actually did violate their terms of service. How convenient!

Naturally, Jones' supporters are screaming CENSORSHIP. Of course, if that is censorship, then so are the commenting rules on Infowars dot com, pictured above. If they are allowed to have a "terms of service" and ban people for violating those terms, then so is any other site. They are not special. Jones is still perfectly free to stand on a street corner screaming about gay frogs, run his own website, and do and say literally anything he wants so long as he does not violate any laws. He just doesn't get to do it in places that do not want him there.

There are, of course, always those who say that banning people like Jones from social media will have a backfiring effect and make them more popular than ever. But think about it -- when was the last time you heard anything about Milo Yiannopoulos? I will tell you. It was when he went on a ridiculous rant on Facebook about how his whole life has been ruined because he no longer gets the attention he once did, and how ungrateful everyone is for all he sacrificed for them.

When, even, was the last time you heard anything about Glenn Beck? Bill O'Reilly? Hmmm? No backfiring there! And Infowars, since Jones has been banned from most social media, has seen a significant decrease in traffic. So there.


'Not All Heroes Wear Capes': MGTOWs Celebrate Dine And Ditch Artist

In their continuing quest to prove to us all that they are doing the world a favor by "going their own way," MGTOWs have found a hero in 45-year-old Paul Guadalupe Gonzales, who currently faces up to 16 years in prison for his scheme of going out to dinner with women he met on online dating sites, ordering a ton of expensive food and then escaping before the bill came. He's being charged with 11 counts of extortion, and is also suspected of pulling a similar scheme at several hair salons -- getting his hair cut and dyed and then running out the door.

One MGTOW, posting on a thread titled "Not all heroes wear capes," wrote "Bitch thots have been doing this horse shit for years. The fact that some women got the tables turned doesn't make me feel bad in the least."

Except no! Women have not been "doing this horse shit for years," because there is a big difference between someone offering to buy you dinner and you running out on a check without telling the person. That is called stealing. I buy people drinks sometimes, it doesn't mean I get to walk up to someone else and just take theirs.

A poster on another thread about the dine and dasher condemned the entire restaurant industry for, uh, allowing women to take advantage of men's emotions:



Restaurants have been complicit in the crime of women taking advantage of men on dates for decades. I don't really care if the restaurant or the bar or club that allows women to take advantage of men's emotions are screwed out of money. Without men foolishly paying for women's free meals, restaurants wouldn't have any business anyway. Fuck em.

Yeah! Ban all the restaurants! Because men, of their own volition, sometimes buy dinner for women they are dating. Oh, how very dastardly they are! By that same token, we should also ban grocery stores because I often cook for men I am dating, so long as they don't seem like cafones who are gonna be all weird about it (I cannot tell you how many weird ass dudes have looked at me with creepy food lust in their eyes asking me if I'm gonna make pasta for them. Hard pass!). No food for anyone!

And that's it for this week! I mean, technically it's not, there is a LOT of garbage out there, but I'd rather not be here all day. And if you'd like to help support my dinner buying/making habit and that of the other Wonkers, click here to tip us!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Remember a few weeks ago when House Judiciary Committee Chair Jerry Nadler sent a very nice and loving request to 81 people and entities associated with Donald Trump, including the White House, asking to please FUCKING GIVE IT a million documents, in order to aid Judiciary's investigation into Trump's millions of crimes? Well, the deadline was Monday, and some folks are helping! Others are not!

According to Nadler, they've already gotten "tens of thousands" of documents, and all signs point to more document requests coming, to approximately one million more people. There have been some surprises, too. Steve Bannon is helping a LOT, turning over thousands of pages (which is perhaps too much if you've ever seen that episode of "The West Wing," where CJ Cregg talks about being so crazy over-compliant with Congress that they just snow down investigators with everything, including take-out menus and junk mail). Trump Inauguration weirdo/longtime associate Tom Barrack is helping, and Hope Hicks is also too gonna be a good little helper. And so on!

And some are asking for "friendly subpoenas," like for instance attorney Keith Davidson, who used to rep Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, who's asking for that in order to "formalize the process," as Politico puts it. (Some people don't like being asked nicely.)

Still others are saying straight up NO, and some of them have better reasons than others. Roger Stone is pleading the Fifth on advice of counsel because, you know, he's in trouble with the law right now. Rick Gates says he can't really help, citing how he is still a cooperating witness who is very business hunting wabbits in multiple ongoing investigations. And Julian Assange said no, because (LOL) he is a journalist, you guys, and Congress shouldn't subpoena journalists about their sources. (Actually WikiLeaks is a cut-out for Russian intelligence. Which is kind of like "journalist," except not remotely.)

But the real story here is that the White House, in response to pretty much every document request it's gotten, is saying "FUCK OFF! WE ARE GOING TO DO THE WATERGATE THING! IT WORKED OUT VERY WELL, IN WATERGATE! FUCK IT, LET'S DO THE WATERGATE THING!"

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