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The Week In Garbage Men: GOP Congressman Wishes You Gals Could Be More Chill About Groping

2018 Congressional Elections

Hello, and welcome to the Week in Garbage Men! Again. It almost seems like overkill to do one today given that I've been writing about the Proud Boys all damned week, and they are kind of the worst, but here we are.

GOP Congressman Unsure Why Women So Unchill About Being Groped

On Friday, CNN obtained a recording of Jason Lewis, a Republican congressman from Minnesota, whining on his former radio show about how unfair it is that ladies are so uptight now about being groped by men they don't want to be groped by. Specifically women who did not want to be groped by Herman Cain and made a whole thing about how he sexually harassed them, just because he sexually harassed them.

Via CNN:

"I don't want to be callous here, but how traumatizing was it?" Lewis said. "How many women at some point in their life have a man come on to them, place their hand on their shoulder or maybe even their thigh, kiss them, and they would rather not have it happen, but is that really something that's going to be seared in your memory that you'll need therapy for?"

"You'll never get over? It was the most traumatizing experience? Come on! She wasn't raped," Lewis added, using a voice mocking an emotionally distraught woman.

That's a really good bar for everything that happens to people, really. Maybe I could go over to Jason Lewis' house and steal all of his things, and then when he complains I could go "Come on! I didn't rape you!" or I could like, stab him a bunch of times and then when the police come to question me, I could say "Sure, I stabbed him a bunch of times, but I didn't peel off his skin and make a Jason Lewis skin suit, did I?"

You may recall Rep. Lewis as the guy who also once whined and whined about how he couldn't call women sluts, even though he really, really liked calling women sluts. So unfair!

Well, the thing is, can we call anybody a slut? This is what begs the question. Take this woman out of it, take Rush out of it for a moment. Does a woman now have the right to behave — and I know there's a double standard between the way men chase women and running and running around — you know, I'm not going to get there, but you know what I'm talking about. But it used to be that women were held to a little bit of a higher standard. We required modesty from women. Now, are we beyond those days where a woman can behave as a slut, but you can't call her a slut?

He couldn't even call MADONNA a slut!

But have we really got to the point where you can't refer to Madonna as a slut without being sued? I mean, Madonna has had a series of lovers, as have many in Hollywood. Now in the old days, what did we call this? Madonna dresses up in these sorts of prostitute-like outfits on stage, and she goes there and she sings and she shows half of her body. What did we call those people? 30 years ago? 40 years ago? 50 years ago? You can't do that today, it's too politically incorrect?

Now, call me crazy -- but I think that while lamenting the fact that he couldn't call Madonna a slut, he did, in fact, call her a slut. Was there more he wanted to say on this topic? It seems like he covered it pretty thoroughly. So, clearly he was able (and willing!) to call Madonna a slut, despite all that political correctness. It's almost like what he meant was "I can't call Madonna a slut without people then calling me an asshole who is still weirdly hung up on Madonna's sex life like it's 1994 or some shit."

Again, Lewis is up for re-election, facing Democrat Angie Lewis, so if you live in Minnesota's 2nd Congressional District, make sure to get out and vote for her, and maybe even toss some money her way, because that guy is gross AF.

4Chan Very Excited To See Women Executed For Having Abortions

This week, the Alabama Supreme Court upheld the conviction of Jessie Livell Phillips for the murder of his wife and for the murder of his unborn child, under the Brody Act, which allows people to be prosecuted for the murder of a fetus. In his concurring opinion on the court's finding, Judge Tom Parker decided to take a beat and urge the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade, because sure, Conservative judges are never "activist judges."

Because the anons are very smart, someone posted the PDF of the opinion in 4chan with the headline "ABORTION NOW CARRIES THE DEATH PENALTY!"

Most of the anons were very excited, though some were quick to point out that they were OK with abortion because they were into "eugenics" and also for various extremely racist reasons.

One said that he wished that was what was happening, but ALAS, it is not:

That's really not what's happening though. I wish it was. Instead what's happening is this:
1. Cunt gets knocked up at 19 - aborts
2. Cunt gets knocked up at 21 - aborts
3. etc.
4. Wants to 'settle down' has a kid at 38 - flipper baby autismo potato
So we're still getting the same number of kids out of them, just lower quality ones. If liberals want a compromise, I would be okay with 'you can have an abortion, but it requires sterilization at the same time'.

Women SHOULD be getting knocked up at 19 and having that kid. Stay the fuck out of the workforce, get married, raise that kid. Getting pregnant settles a woman down and forces her into the family life. It also turns her way more conservative. Instead we have these liberal moonbat cunts in their late 20s and early 30s with no kids running around.






Well, at least he's honest?

Incels Get The Boot, Again

Once again, incels have been banned from the .ME domain they'd been using to host their forum, for violating the registry's anti-abuse policy.

From the press release, because yes, they actually made a press release for this:

At a glance, this seems like an ongoing issue with websites who are being censored due to not following politically correct speech, or those whose ideologies do not align with the majority. This has also applied to Facebook groups and Youtubers, who have felt these same attacks. "Hate speech" is being branded as a political tool, a synonym for "speech I do not like", powerful enough to at once take away the rights to any platform or service without further explanation.

While our domain is an isolated example, it sets a precedent to anyone who owns a domain name anywhere with Afilias. We advise anyone that has a .ME domain name or any domain affiliated with Afilias to go with different options when selecting a domain name.

This is all very compelling until you go over to their new site at incels.is and see that they are talking about creative ways to rape women, in a series titled "Hypothetical Chad Assisted Rapes." Yeah.

Wouldn't it be really terrible if Chad were to match up with some chick on Tinder, and then gain her trust by meeting up with her in a public place, before taking her back to a motel room and saying, "Let's get drunk and fuck" and then slipping her some roofies; so that after she became incapacitated, Chad could tell his incel friend who was hiding under the bed, "Okay, she's all yours!" and then walk out, leaving him to go to town?

I hope nothing like that ever happens.

And then responding to them like this:

Explaining that to a judge would be funny

"Your honor I consented to sex with the 6'4" broad shouldered handsome white guy with hair, not the 5'4" skinny ugly bald Indian. You see, I wanted to get my holes filled, but not by that guy. That's RAPE!!"

Yeah. And as you know, there are far worse things on there. There is a difference between "hate speech" and actually sitting around talking about committing violent crimes against people and how to get away with said violent crimes. That's not "hate speech," that is "evidence."

These Weirdos Thing We Are All Very Upset About Their NPC Memes

As you may know, internet trolls recently came up with what they believe is a very exciting new meme, based on a theory that sounds like it was created by very high and very solipsistic high school kids (which it probably was) all about how everyone who is not them is an NPC (or Non-Player Character) in a video game. I guess it's like an updated version of Holden Caulfield whining about phonies for people who are not smart enough to have ever actually read Catcher In The Rye.

It is a stupid meme, and hilarious only because people thinking they're deep when they sound stupid is hilarious, but since it's been reported on in the media, their NEW thing is that we are all freaking out because they have discovered our deep dark secret, and are now making it even worse for ourselves, because now they're going to use it ALL THE TIME.

To quote Melania, "I don't care, do u?"

And that is it for The Week in Garbage Men! I will be back shortly with your open thread, and I will try to find something CHEERFUL for that. Because I love you.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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