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Obama's magazine cover JUST KIDDING LOL


One of the most hysterical myths about President Obama, perpetuated by men who seem quite out of touch with their own masculinity, is that President Obama, with his swagger and his hot wife, is secretly a gay.

So here is the latest OUTRAGE!!!1!! that proves Barry Bamz Soetoro Benghazi Obama likes to suck dick and suck it REAL good. Did you hear how the president is on the cover of the "Out 100," a list of the top out lesbigaygenders and hetero allies of the year? He is! According to Out magazine, he is the first sitting president to be on the cover of a homogay magazine EVER! Look at it:

Would you sex the president? Yr Wonkette would sex the president.

He deserves this! As he nears the end of his presidency, things have gotten a LOT better for the LGBT community, and he's had a lot to do with it. And how cool for a sitting president to say, "Yeah, I'm going to be on your sexxxy gay magazine cover, for the gays!"

But for Geoffrey Grider, a writer for an insane end times Jesus apocalypse website, this is just proof that the president is DTF in the gay way. Like the magazine cover is some kind of gay Tinder profile. Swipe right to let the president bone your butt!

Grider's hypothesis is that homo Obama on the homo magazine isn't a surprise, just like it won't be a surprise when Obama goes gay. He Bibles incorrectly about the story of Sodom and Gomorrah (BUY A FUCKING CONCORDANCE, YOU MORONS!) and says these are the reasons Obama is obviously a fag:

  • Obama campaigned as a Christian, but as president has supported the cause of Islam and the Muslims.
  • Obama said in 2008 that “marriage is between a man and a woman”, but as president turned America into an LGBT nation.
  • Obama said that”if you like your doctor you can keep your doctor”, and as soon as Obamacare rolled out, almost no one got to keep their doctor at a price they could afford.
  • Obama said that his “red line” with Syria was if they used chemical weapons, well they did and he did nothing about it.
  • Obama said he would have the “most transparent regime administration in US history”, but has been one of the most secretive of all time.

Aside from how this poor dipshit believes things what clearly are not true, it seems as if in his mind, anything he doesn't like is labeled as "gay." Healthcare? QUEER. Syria policy? Maybe if the president could take the dick out of his mouth long enough! Saying Muslims deserve respect, just like everybody else? Why doesn't Obama put on a dress and lip synch "It's Raining Men" if he's gonna be so gay about it?

We gotta say, if this is Mr. Grider's attempt to influence national discourse, he's gotta actually SHOW HIS WORK, or at least make it more fun to LOL at. As it is, he just sounds like this jerk we knew in high school who was so obviously closeted, he couldn't walk by yr Wonkette without muttering under his breath, "Gay!"

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The point is, try harder, you big lovable lazy-assed fool. The cocaine-fueled gay sex binge orgy conspiracy perpetuated by Larry Sinclair, Dean Chambers (the "unskewed polls" dumbass), and Tea Party Nation President Judson Phillips? At least that's a fun read, even if all those guys should have their pictures made for the DSM-5 manual.

This? Snooze.

[Out 100 / Now The End Begins via JoeMyGod]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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