Donate

Ready for another dumb Hitler analogy, because this is the week where we do those? Let's get reacquainted with Aaron and Melissa Klein, who decided to be martyrs just like Jesus, by refusing to make a cake for a lesbian wedding. Then they lost their bakery, because they are twats, and then Satan personally attacked them by canceling their GoFundMe, which they planned to use to pay the fine they owed the state of Oregon, for the crime of being twats. This was obviously more persecution, because it says right there in the book of Romans that all good Christians are entitled to a GoFundMe.

Well, Satan is now persecuting the Kleins via his son Adolf Hitler, who has commanded the gays to put the Kleins in a concentration camp, or at least make fun of them on the internet. Aaron Klein explained the Holocaust they are enduring, after being set up by wingnut radio host Rick Wiles:

“This is the gaystapo," said Wiles. "This is just like the Nazi homosexuals in the 1930s. It was a militant homosexual network that took over Germany, that’s what this is, and they are going to silence all opposition if people do not stand up and put a stop to this stuff."

For the uninitiated, who were perhaps not aware how the Nazis were all gay, you should understand that very stupid bigots believe all of the lies from this book The Pink Swastika, written by a man named Scott Lively, who is being tried for crimes against humanity for inciting anti-gay hatred in Uganda, which says that the Nazis were all gay. It is absolute bullshit, of course.

[contextly_sidebar id="Hs0bgq6eqI38jYnk9hk8sdCtvQpdeMnl"]

So, having been set up by Wiles, Klein let his bigot freak flag fly:

The people who sit in the pews on Sunday are not protected. ... We have to use what we can right now to stem the tide, because if we don't, we will find it inside the church. You will have the rainbow flag flying above your church, because they will be considered hate.

Your turn, Wiles:

The German churches that were intimidated by the Nazis had swastikas flying above their churches. So what you'll have in the United States are cowardly, wimpy churches that will have a rainbow flag. There's no difference. Rainbow flag, Nazi swastika, it's the same thing. It's the same spirit behind it.

And the serve goes back to Klein, who cites that part of the Bible where Jesus says that ye will be persecuted in His holy name, for being twats:

But we know this was going to happen. We know this as Christians, if we read our Bibles, we see that the Gospel is an offense to those who are perishing. We see that these people, in Romans chapter 1, these people are going to be given over to their sin to the extent that they are going to try to coerce others into committing that same sin. But we need to be very mindful of what 1 Timothy 5:22 says, and that is we are not to take part in another man's sin. That is something we have to watch out for because we cannot send a mixed message as a follower of Christ.

Klein knows that Satan is tempting him to do the gay, but as a follower of Christ, he will NOT put his cake frosting on another man's penis and seductively lick it off, no way no how, he's armed with the BIBLE.

So is Wiles, who says, "These freaks don't understand the level of our intensity of our commitment to Jesus Christ. They don't understand, we will go to prison, we will go to the grave before we allow them to silence us." Jeez, well okay. We get that they love Jesus, or at least some hateful bastard shithole version of Jesus, but we didn't realize the Great Tribulation would involve so many bakeries.

And besides, the homosexuals really shouldn't be doing this persecution in Oregon, because know what ELSE lives in Oregon, besides gay Hitler? It's the Juan de Fuca subduction zone, that fault that's gonna earthquake the Pacific Northwest real bad one of these days:

Wiles also suggested that the “freaks” behind the nondiscrimination law will incite divine wrath: “How close is the Oregon state capital to an earthquake fault?”

“People who live on a subduction zone should not defy the living God,” Wiles said. “Let’s be real blunt about it: If you live on a fault line or a volcano, you really shouldn’t be shaking your fist at the God who made the planet. That’s really dumb.”

[contextly_sidebar id="z8INfUGGVzyQkjgfTySw3SoLmwFCay6F"]

Because God might get real mad and go back millions of years and add an extra "gays only" earthquake into the already existing earthquake plan for Oregon, because He's just that much of a twat. Klein agrees that prissy bitch Jesus is the one who died on the cross for his wife's dumb fucking cake business and God hates fags, this is definitely just like Hitler, Glory Hallelujah In Jesus' Precious Name, Amen.

[Right Wing Watch]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC

Fox News has been LI'L BIT CONFUSED about how to cover Donald Trump's treason meeting with Vladimir Putin. There was a lot of tut-tutting from Fox's daytime journalists (the "real" ones) on Monday, but then it was Double Dipshit Time on Monday night as Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity took over the commentary. Carlson found the real election hackers (brown Mexican people who either move to America and become legal citizens who vote or brown Mexican people who are just born here, as if THAT is allowed!) and declared that Russian meddling is like number 115 on the list of things that threaten America. (The other 114 are the blacks and the Mexicans and the gypsies, because Tucker Carlson is a white supremacist.) Meanwhile, Hannity hosted Donald Trump for some kind of mutual lick-off session where Trump said that Putin had informed him that there was NO COLLUSION. It's good to have a KGB handler who remembers stuff like that!

But even then, there was a hopeful moment! Fox News's Chris Wallace committed an actual act of journalism Monday night when he interviewed Vladimir Putin, going so far as to stick Robert Mueller's indictments in the Russian leader's stupid fucking face and dare him to read them. He even asked Putin why he constantly murders people with poison. GO GET HIM, CHRIS WALLACE!

Usually the next morning's "Fox & Friends" is like Carlson and Hannity's afterbirth, but Tuesday morning was a little bit different! For some reason, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade and Abby Huntsman were not 100% pleased with Dear Leader's behavior in Helsinki! So they put on their Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski masks and did their best impression of a more dumber version of "Morning Joe," and oh my god it was SO WEIRD. Like, they would be outraged for a second, but then they would immediately compliment him and reassure him that he is a Very Good Boy who won that presidential election fair and square.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Image by Mariordo, Wikimedia Commons

In what seems like a perfectly logical move where corporations are people, MGM International Resorts is suing all the victims of the Las Vegas massacre in federal court. But don't worry -- at least the company isn't seeking damages from them for its own corporate pain and suffering! Instead, the lawsuit is a maneuver to head off liability claims related to the mass shooting last October 1, as is only right and just. All they want is what's coming to them, like immunity from damages and some ill will from consumers, which will no doubt blow over eventually.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc