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Gay Lady Elected Mayor Of Houston, Which Is In Texas (?!?)

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Have you heard? Gays are, apparently, allowed to run for political office in Texas! One such gay actually won the mayoralty of Houston this weekend. Let's learn a little bit more about Mayor-elect Annise Parker, who offers a winning combination of fiscal management skills and lesbianism.


Parker is a Democrat, NO SURPRISE THERE. The mayoral campaign was apparently pretty blah until the end, due to Parker and her opponent having virtually no differences on the "issues." But all that changed when a group of black pastors and a couple of anti-gay advocates came forward and boldly announced, "Look at this gay lady and all the gay things she wants to do to Houston, in the butt."

In the end Parker prevailed, which suggests that at long last the residents of a large Texas city are finally ready to have things done to them, in the butt, by a lesbian. Mazel tov, Mayor Parker!

Houston Is Largest City to Elect Openly Gay Mayor [New York Times]

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While the year 2018 will be remembered for a lot of (mostly terrible) things, it should also go down in history as the year two entirely different women got married to ghosts. Most recently, a lady named Amethyst Realm (of course) made headlines by claiming that after having had sex with at least 20 different ghosts, she had finally settled down with one she met on a flight to Australia. As one does.

But before Amethyst Realm, there was Amanda Teague, a former Jack Sparrow impersonator who was very obsessed with Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean, and who in January announced that she had married the ghost of a 300 year-old pirate named Jack Teague. Teague claimed that Jack Teague had been a black Haitian pirate who at one point had been left at the altar, and had been executed for high treason. She also claimed that they had sex -- including a little pregnancy scare -- and that he once bought her a coffee maker.

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Time for another episode of Poppy's Bad Tweets, wherein we answer the eternal question, DOES COMMANDER TWITTER THUMBS HAVE A POINT, OR IS HE JUST SMOCKING CRACK?

(Spoiler alert ....)

Yeah, About That NO COLLUSION...

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