Gay Mafia Forces Obama To Cancel Presidential Inauguration; Hugo Chavez To Take Oath Of Office Instead


Like all meaningless ceremonies in Washington (and there are lots), this year’s presidential inaugural has been beset by controversy. And like all controversies in Washington (and there are lots), this was easily avoided by not doing exactly the same thing the last time this issue came up.

Yes, once again, President Obama’s inaugural committee appointed a pastor with a history of less-than-friendly attitudes toward the gays (or as Your Wonkette believes they prefer to be called, “them”) to deliver the benediction when he takes the oath of office.

Pastor Louie Giglio (pictured here looking extremely heterosexual in a tight white tracksuit) gave a sermon in 1995, still available online, in which he called homosexuality a sin “in the eyes of God and in the Word of God.” He also described the homosexual agenda as being “powerful and aggressive,” which was pretty prophetic, given what happened one day after the news of his sermon leaked:

“We were not aware of Pastor Giglio’s past comments at the time of his selection and they don’t reflect our desire to celebrate the strength and diversity of our country at this Inaugural. Pastor Giglio was asked to deliver the benediction in large part for his leadership in combating human trafficking around the world. As we now work to select someone to deliver the benediction, we will ensure their beliefs reflect this administration’s vision of inclusion and acceptance for all Americans.“ – Addie Whisenant, [Presidential Inaugural Committee] Spokesperson

This is a very different result from what happened in 2008, when Pastor Rick Warren -- who is also not a big fan of the gays -- gave the invocation at President Obama’s inauguration over the vehement (and presumably effeminate, because we’re racist) objections of the LGBT community.

Instead of learning a lesson from the 2008 debacle and thoroughly researching (i.e., Googling) the pastor they chose to pray over the ceremony, the inaugural committee instead decide to wing it, with predictable results. But what a difference four years makes, as unlike Warren, Louie Giglo will get no closer to the podium than any of you dirty unwashed masses.

Assuming the inauguration survives this scandal (Your Wonkette is still hoping for a last-minute Newt Gingrich Electoral College coup), we have some suggestions for alternate choices to provide the invocation:

  • Rick Santorum delivering a reading from 50 Shades of Grey.
  • Paul Lynde. [Checks.] Paul Lynde died in 1982. So not Paul Lynde.
  • That gay Senator they just elected. Whatshisname. Oh, it’s a lady? Whatshername.
  • Joe Biden, because Joe Biden should do everything forever.
  • 10,000 gay dudes singin -- oh wait, Your Wonkette’s editor already stole that joke.



How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc