'Gays Did Katrina' Pastor Got The COVID. Who's God Trying To Punish Now?
John Hagee, in his long career as a windbag/wingnut pastor, has earned a reputation for claiming that basically every horrible thing that has ever happened was simply God's way of punishing those he was mad at or rearranging the world to his liking. God made the Holocaust happen, he said, as a lovely favor to Jewish people so that they could reclaim Israel, so that the Christian Apocalypse could come on time. God did Katrina, he said, because "there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came."
He has also said a bunch of terrible things about Catholic people and various other people and also one time he predicted that the world was going to end in 2015, which then did not happen for another year. He said so many terrible things about people that it was actually quite a scandal back in 2008 when he endorsed John McCain, and McCain ended up rejecting his endorsement — which now just feels ever so quaint.
In 2017, Donald Trump shook Hagee's hand and said that he would not disappoint him.
Anyway, dude has COVID-19 now.
Matthew Hagee reports that his father, mega-church pastor John Hagee, has tested positive for COVID-19. https://t.co/A720gVackt— Right Wing Watch (@Right Wing Watch)1601849723.0
In a statement to followers, his son Matthew Hagee said:
"Pastor Hagee has been diligent to monitor his health throughout this entire COVID pandemic. But this past week, he was informed by his personal physician that he did test positive for COVID. It was discovered early, it's being closely monitored, he is receiving extremely good medical treatment, and I can tell you he feels well enough to be upset with his doctors. He did let me know before I came to church today that he covets your prayers and he looks forward to seeing you again very soon."
Isn't coveting one of the things you're not supposed to do? I could be wrong — my understanding of religion is somewhat lacking — but I feel like coveting is bad. Although maybe that only applies to like, wives and cattle?
Anyway! Given that Pastor Hagee always has something to say about God's reasons for hurting people, I think we are all looking forward to finding out why he thinks God gave him COVID-19. Was he going to hold a homosexual parade in his lungs? Did God feel that making him sick would be a good way to kick off Armageddon? Is John Hagee about to go full Jerry Falwell Jr. or full 1980s Jim Bakker or full whatshisface, the crying one ... Jimmy Swaggart? Is there gonna be a John Hagee sex scandal? Or a financial scandal? Or both? I think it's probably gonna be both.
Because really, if you're gonna go around claiming that horrible things that happen to other people happen because God wants them to happen, then you have to assume that when something bad happens to you, that too, is God's will. What's good for the goose is good for the 80-year-old bigot pastor.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse