John Edwards has apparently been going around saying he's "not comfortable" around the gays, which is kind of funny coming from a guy who hangs out in $400 hair salons. But his wife Elizabeth wants everybody to know John only gets weirded out when the gays are really coming on strong to him, or threatening to sodomize him with reptiles or something.

Elizabeth explains how she saw a gay buddy dude one night on the town and pointed out her then-fiance. Handsome John Edwards.

"And he said, oh, he's awfully cute. I might snake him if he wasn't with you. And I told John that."

Snake him? Jesus Christ, you billionaire Southern lawyers are a kinky bunch.

Word for the day: snake [Politico]